Once again, Raph finds himself waking to the smell of tar and smoke. Grimacing at the smell, the hot head rolls over to tell his lover off when he freezes in his spot at the sight of Luca. He had one of his knees pulled up against his chest as his other dangles over the edge of the bed. One arm rested on his knee with the cigarette held loosely between two fingers of the limp hand, his other hand gripping his bicep with his head wearily resting on the cushion of his arm.
What was more unsettling was how quiet Luca was, even his breathing was barely there. Slowly, Raph sits up and scoots a little closer to his mate, reaching out to touch his shoulder.
``You know.....there's a lot about me that I haven't told you....a lot about my past.....'' Luca whispers softly, halting Raph's reaching hand. Hesitating slightly, Raph allows his hand to drop to listen to his lover.
``I know you want to know.....and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to tell you.....but.....I'm afraid.....'' Luca husked out, the grip on the cigarette wavering, threatening to drop the white stick.
``Why are you afraid?'' Raph inquired softly, leaning in a way to look at Luca from under his arm.
``Of what you'll think of me after you hear it all....'' the singer swallows thickly before lifting his head to look at Raph's eyes.
The emerald orbs flash in understanding as Raph sits up to look at Luca. Scooting even closer, Raph gently pulls his lover onto his lap and starts to rock him.
``I'll think that I still love you very much and will continue to enjoy your company all the same,'' Raph stated calmly.
Taking a shaky breath from being so close to Raph and his words, Luca takes a long draw from his cigarette, dousing it in the tray, evidence of three other cigarettes in the dish. Grabbing the pack of cancer sticks, Luca popped out another one into his lips and then shakily lights it to Raph's dismay. The hot head knows that Luca only smokes when he's stressed and seeing the evidence of half the pack gone already was a testament on how stressed his lover is.
``I suppose I should start at the beginning, huh? Well, for starters, the woman yesterday isn't actually my mother......biologically speaking at least,'' Luca clarified softly. Raph gives him a puzzled look, his brow furrowing.
``If she's not your mom, then why is her hair similar to yours and where's your real mom?'' Raph questioned mostly to himself, but Luca responded all the same.
``She dyes her hair to appear young still, like the liar she is....'' Luca grumbled out with a bitter reluctance. ``And my actual mother was a sea turtle.....she passed shortly after she laid me in my egg....''
Raph frowns at the first statement but his face softens at the last one, looking at his lover sadly. ``I'm so sorry....''
But Luca waved his hand dismissively, swallowing thickly. ``Don't be. I didn't know what kind of person she was, so its not like I'm missing much any how.'' Taking another drag from his cigarette, Luca rests his head against Raph's plastron, allowing the smoke to escape his snout this time, flicking some ash away. ``Anyways, after she passed, my father, who is to thank for my luscious locks and amazing tail, remarried to Bertha, adopting her three kids at the same moment whilst I was still in the egg. After much discussion, Bertha finally conceded into raising me as her own, despite her natural instincts to kill me cause I could be a threat to her children. You know, an animal thing,'' Luca said while making a dramatic movement with his hands.
When Raph nodded in understanding and to show he was still listening, Luca continued. ``Well, after I hatched, probably a month after, my father was unfortunately assassinated. You see, he was a wealthy business man that handles trading goods between foreign counties, mainly pharmaceuticals and weapons for the military. That kind of thing. Anyhow, when that happened, he left his inheritance to me and the company to Bertha. Because I was so young at the time, Bertha had access to both but could only access my inheritance once a year with a max of five hundred thousand. I think the original amount was two hundred and fifty mil? I think. I can't remember,'' Luca muttered softly, almost as if it were unimportant.
Raph sputtered at the news that not only was Luca kinda related to an ambassador, but he was a rich kid. ``So, so why don't you have access to the inheritance now? I mean, you're an adult now, right?''
``Hmm, actually, that's just it. My father, acting upon my late mother's wishes, left conditions for me to inherit it. Either 1) I turn the 25 with a job or 2) I get married happily and settle down with someone who I consider a soulmate. Well, seeing how its kinda hard to get married as a gay man and my past, marriage was out of the question, so I've been working tirelessly to get a job. Granted, I've done it more for my own satisfaction rather than get the money at this point, but doesn't hurt to retire early. Plus, I got a year and a half before I can technically claim my inheritance.'' Luca shrugs with an indifference on the topic, dousing the bud of a cigarette he had left.
``Your parents are weird....'' Raph stated with mild humor, trying to lighten his lovers dark mood. Clearing his throat when he realizes its not working, Raph leans closer and nuzzles into Luca's neck. ``And what do you mean your past? Like, I understand the marrying as a gay person part, but what do you mean about your past made marriage not a thing?''
Groaning at the question with a sound of regret, Luca leaned back into Raph's plastron, trying to find the best way to phrase this. ``When I was still in high school, probably 15 - maybe 16, I discovered my sexuality through a boy. His name was.......'' Biting his lip, getting a painful look on his face. Raph gently nudges his shoulder for him to continue and to show he wasn't jealous about the admission of another male in Luca's life.
Smiling weakly, Luca takes a deep breath and relaxes a little more. ``His name was Marcus. He was roughly a year older than me. He was a turtle as well, just like you. His skin was a little lighter and he had this entrancing golden eyes.......its what drew me to him and you, you know that?'' Luca whispered fondly, looking up at Raph into his shocking green eyes. ``You're eyes are these hypnotic, enrapturing colors that I can't resist. Probably my favorite part of you're body.....'' Luca whispers softly.
Raph couldn't help but blush at the compliment and gently pecks Luca's nose. ``I'm glad my strange eyes are good of something then.''
Luca hums softly before sighing heavily, leaning into Raph more and more. ``Well, after the awkward phase of me trying to figure out if I like guys or not and his persistence on hitting on me at every turn, we started to date. We dated up until three months before graduation, if I'm not mistaken. I still hadn't revealed to Bertha that I was gay and for good reason. She wouldn't hear of anything that happened at school for me because she would set up arranged marriage meetings for me to get married to other girls as soon as I graduate and pushed my academics hard if I should even the slightest in anything at all. When she did that, I lost all interest in the subject entirely and tried to change so I can have something to call my own rather that have to have memories of her demanding perfection in everything I did. I guess in a sense, I was like a modern Cinderella when it came to my relationship to my family members.
More often then not, I would hide my emotions from my family and vent to Marcus to relieve the stress. Well, when the day I choose to come out finally arrived, I had invited Marcus to join my family and I for dinner so we can do it together. But, shortly after revealing my sexual orientation, my family scorned me and my boyfriend relentlessly. And it was harder for Marcus cause they questioned his masculinity and he was like you, extremely ripped. I didn't think much of it because I was put down on a day to day bases, but Marcus took it to heart. Slowly......he started to pull away......he would be busy some days.....then he would stop kissing me.......then stop holding my hand.....then avoided my eyes.......and it got to the point he wouldn't be in the same room as me. It broke my heart, cause I thought there was something wrong with me. Something I did.'' Luca makes a fist over his heart, his head hanging low again, his confidence dropping dramatically.
Raph frowned deeply at the emotions that flitted through his lover, wondering what kind of man this Marcus was to hurt such a beautiful creature. Then Luca's aura grew dark as he stiffened slightly.
``One day......I got a phone call from Marcus's mother. She informed me that Marcus had committed suicide.......leaving an apology not for me, saying he couldn't handle the words my family spoke to him, it had driven him into a major depression.....I grew furious. On multiple levels. I began to hate Marcus for leaving me, seething with rage and knowing I had no one to turn to,'' Luca trembles in anger, gripping the bedding. ``Then, I realized it was my family that did this to Marcus. Made him feel so low as to take his own life. That they had made it so I would be alone. And when I told my family of this, my eldest `brother' and `mother' laughed! They said that was just one less queer in the world to deal with and I can pull my head out of my ass and finally marry the woman my mother set up for me.''
Raph's emotions changed with Luca's as he told the story, doing everything he can to remain calm and keeping Luca close for that reason alone. With a deep breath, Luca starts to relax. ``I won't deny, after that, I snapped. I lost control of my emotions and attacked my family. Soon after, I ran away with what money I saved up and the information to the inheritance. I got about $100,000 before Bertha realized what happened. She cut me off from my attempts and I ran off with what I got, starting a new life. I crashed at my other friends place until I could get on my feet again. And here we are.....'' Luca says with an exasperated sigh, his hands flopping lifelessly onto his lap as he rest his head on Raph's shoulder.
The hot head let the information sink in, mulling over some of the details before murmuring softly, ``Was he better looking than me?''
Luca snapped his head up and stared at Raph like he grew a second and third head before bursting out laughing, allowing Raph to relax, glad he was able to snap his lover out of his foul mood, unable to help but allow his own thoughts to grow dark towards to undesirable members of Luca's past.
