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Keywords poetry 651
If Only…

By: Ainoko Ironrose

If only…

You were alive.

If only…

I were you.

If only…

You were here with me.

If only…

You were real.

If only…

Our worlds overlapped.

If only…

The world would let us love openly.

If only…

You survived.

If only…

You were here when I needed you the most.

If only…

I could do more.

If only…

You would listen to me.

If only…

Told me that you loved me

If only…

We would be accepted for who we are.

If only…

I wasn’t at a loss for words.

If only…

I could say more.

If only…

*************************************

*************************************

This was something that has been on my mind the past couple of days and I had to write it down.

Please be honest when critiquing this. I want to know how you guys liked this and what I can do to improve on the peom.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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by Ainoko
If Only…
By: Ainoko Ironrose


If only…
You were alive.

If only…
I were you.

If only…
You were here with me.

If only…
You were real.

If only…
Our worlds overlapped.

If only…
The world would let us love openly.


If only…
You survived.

If only…
You were here when I needed you the most.

If only…
I could do more.

If only…
You would listen to me.

If only…
Told me that you loved me

If only…
We would be accepted for who we are.

If only…
I wasn’t at a loss for words.

If only…
I could say more.

If only…


*************************************
*************************************

This was something that has been on my mind the past couple of days and I had to write it down.

Please be honest when critiquing this. I want to know how you guys liked this and what I can do to improve on the peom.

Keywords
poetry 651
Details
Type: Writing - Document
Published: 12 years, 7 months ago
Rating: General

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5 comments

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nate3prodigy
12 years, 7 months ago
Nice poem but one thing is on page 2 it said" if only...  told me you loved me"  im guessing a typo and it was if only... you told me. Sorry for being a critic but still nice poem
Ainoko
12 years, 7 months ago
Thanks for catching something that I failed to see when proofing the poem. I appreciated it.

It is supposed to be "You told me you loved me" not the other way.
nate3prodigy
12 years, 7 months ago
Ok and I don't just go around checking everyones writing. But when I do if I see something I'll let the person know so they don't have that problem in the future. :3
tarotwolf
12 years, 7 months ago
Deeply heartfelt; sparked a tear (not kidding).

As for how to improve poetry... Emily Dickinson said, "If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry." I know of no other, better description. Express yourself as you will. That is a poet's license. ^_^
Ainoko
12 years, 7 months ago
Thanks, I am glad you enjoyed the poem
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