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ilbv
ilbv's Scraps (276)

Participation

Peril in the Park

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by ilbv
Santa Judas and the Hidden Present
Last in pool
While trying -my best- to draw characters from their refs by far more talented artists than myself, for ych raffle prizes I had an upheave of internal anxious emotional trauma. "I'll never be good at this, wow I really suck, why cant I draw smooth lines, these characters are do complex to draw. How did stick figured become so challenging? what's happening to me? I want to fit in. I want to belong. I want to be accepted by the people I admire. I feel invisible by the people I want to see me. I don't even know what to say to get their attention, I'm a nervous ashamed wreck. Why am I failing so much? I wish I was as fast as *artist*, I wish I was as smooth as *artist*, I wish I was as smart as *artist*, I wish I was creative as *artist*, I wish I was funny like *artistssssssss*. Overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking mindcrack mindcrack mindcrack. So embarrassed. I'm better off alone but I'm so lonely. This people, is the struggle of the socially awkward - which I feel with some and not others. Blegh, words and feelings and sleepless nights.

Other titles I was flicking between were. "Best is not good enough" "Supportive Werewolf" "Sad Dreams". Judas is the werewolf in this and I have no idea why, he's been on my mind a lot I guess. Love him, miss him, must draw and write him more. Ugh and so many others. My ambitions are going to kill me.

Clearly a vent art doodle. This doodle is not my best, very little care was actually put into it, but the feelings are real and I don't know what to do :( please don't hate me. I'm lost and trying to find my way.

Keywords
male 682,514, wolf 117,415, canine 96,310, human 51,242, sketch 33,495, males 30,061, art 13,473, doodle 9,715, werewolf 5,987, drawing 4,345, artist 1,953, guys 1,703, fear 1,433, mind 1,363, vent 1,274, helpless 1,116, human being 849, ilbv 843, dudes 638, help 620, weak 554, struggle 384, vent art 384, thinking 383, worry 187, afraid 170, anxiety 169, thoughts 162, mental 151, journey 142, envy 132, anthro wolf 117, trauma 104, social 84, medal 55, artists 50, were wolf 35, judas 30, overwhelmed 14, ambition 9, nonvore 9, participation 4, non vore 2, overthinking 1
Details
Type: Sketch
Published: 2 years, 8 months ago
Rating: General

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