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ilbv's Scraps (331)

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by ilbv

Scraps

Judas

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An Image of What I Wanted - Commission Idea Sketch

While trying -my best- to draw characters from their refs by far more talented artists than myself, for ych raffle prizes I had an upheave of internal anxious emotional trauma. "I'll never be good at this, wow I really suck, why cant I draw smooth lines, these characters are do complex to draw. How did stick figured become so challenging? what's happening to me? I want to fit in. I want to belong. I want to be accepted by the people I admire. I feel invisible by the people I want to see me. I don't even know what to say to get their attention, I'm a nervous ashamed wreck. Why am I failing so much? I wish I was as fast as *artist*, I wish I was as smooth as *artist*, I wish I was as smart as *artist*, I wish I was creative as *artist*, I wish I was funny like *artistssssssss*. Overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking mindcrack mindcrack mindcrack. So embarrassed. I'm better off alone but I'm so lonely. This people, is the struggle of the socially awkward - which I feel with some and not others. Blegh, words and feelings and sleepless nights.

Other titles I was flicking between were. "Best is not good enough" "Supportive Werewolf" "Sad Dreams". Judas is the werewolf in this and I have no idea why, he's been on my mind a lot I guess. Love him, miss him, must draw and write him more. Ugh and so many others. My ambitions are going to kill me.

Clearly a vent art doodle. This doodle is not my best, very little care was actually put into it, but the feelings are real and I don't know what to do :( please don't hate me. I'm lost and trying to find my way.

Keywords

male 1,302,406, canine 213,609, wolf 207,155, human 112,139, sketch 69,030, males 45,985, art 39,063, doodle 18,277, drawing 15,832, werewolf 12,447, artist 6,310, fear 3,058, helpless 2,608, guys 2,350, vent 2,160, human being 2,053, mind 1,862, ilbv 973, struggle 959, dudes 932, vent art 906, thinking 832, help 798, weak 612, trauma 542, afraid 375, anthro wolf 363, anxiety 356, worry 346, mental 318, journey 291, thoughts 290, envy 264, medal 165, social 144, overwhelmed 128, artists 122, judas 78, were wolf 45, non vore 23, nonvore 17, ambition 8, participation 6, overthinking 3

Details

Type: Sketch

Published: 10 years ago

Rating: General

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