Participation

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by ilbv

Scraps

Judas

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An Image of What I Wanted - Commission Idea Sketch

While trying -my best- to draw characters from their refs by far more talented artists than myself, for ych raffle prizes I had an upheave of internal anxious emotional trauma. "I'll never be good at this, wow I really suck, why cant I draw smooth lines, these characters are do complex to draw. How did stick figured become so challenging? what's happening to me? I want to fit in. I want to belong. I want to be accepted by the people I admire. I feel invisible by the people I want to see me. I don't even know what to say to get their attention, I'm a nervous ashamed wreck. Why am I failing so much? I wish I was as fast as *artist*, I wish I was as smooth as *artist*, I wish I was as smart as *artist*, I wish I was creative as *artist*, I wish I was funny like *artistssssssss*. Overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking mindcrack mindcrack mindcrack. So embarrassed. I'm better off alone but I'm so lonely. This people, is the struggle of the socially awkward - which I feel with some and not others. Blegh, words and feelings and sleepless nights.

Other titles I was flicking between were. "Best is not good enough" "Supportive Werewolf" "Sad Dreams". Judas is the werewolf in this and I have no idea why, he's been on my mind a lot I guess. Love him, miss him, must draw and write him more. Ugh and so many others. My ambitions are going to kill me.

Clearly a vent art doodle. This doodle is not my best, very little care was actually put into it, but the feelings are real and I don't know what to do :( please don't hate me. I'm lost and trying to find my way.

Keywords

male 1,280,877, canine 210,035, wolf 204,654, human 113,854, sketch 68,350, males 45,636, art 38,303, doodle 18,190, drawing 15,565, werewolf 12,268, artist 6,066, fear 2,959, helpless 2,444, guys 2,325, vent 2,246, human being 2,034, mind 1,850, ilbv 973, struggle 945, dudes 930, vent art 885, thinking 813, help 788, weak 623, trauma 498, afraid 365, anthro wolf 350, anxiety 343, worry 342, mental 314, thoughts 283, journey 273, envy 261, medal 163, social 138, artists 122, overwhelmed 113, judas 78, were wolf 45, non vore 19, nonvore 17, ambition 8, participation 5, overthinking 3

Details

Type: Sketch

Published: 9 years, 8 months ago

Rating: General

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