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ilbv's Scraps (274)


Peril in the Park

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by ilbv
Santa Judas and the Hidden Present
Last in pool
While trying -my best- to draw characters from their refs by far more talented artists than myself, for ych raffle prizes I had an upheave of internal anxious emotional trauma. "I'll never be good at this, wow I really suck, why cant I draw smooth lines, these characters are do complex to draw. How did stick figured become so challenging? what's happening to me? I want to fit in. I want to belong. I want to be accepted by the people I admire. I feel invisible by the people I want to see me. I don't even know what to say to get their attention, I'm a nervous ashamed wreck. Why am I failing so much? I wish I was as fast as *artist*, I wish I was as smooth as *artist*, I wish I was as smart as *artist*, I wish I was creative as *artist*, I wish I was funny like *artistssssssss*. Overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking mindcrack mindcrack mindcrack. So embarrassed. I'm better off alone but I'm so lonely. This people, is the struggle of the socially awkward - which I feel with some and not others. Blegh, words and feelings and sleepless nights.

Other titles I was flicking between were. "Best is not good enough" "Supportive Werewolf" "Sad Dreams". Judas is the werewolf in this and I have no idea why, he's been on my mind a lot I guess. Love him, miss him, must draw and write him more. Ugh and so many others. My ambitions are going to kill me.

Clearly a vent art doodle. This doodle is not my best, very little care was actually put into it, but the feelings are real and I don't know what to do :( please don't hate me. I'm lost and trying to find my way.

male 631,890, wolf 110,614, canine 87,337, human 45,926, sketch 30,897, males 28,560, art 11,722, doodle 8,929, werewolf 5,462, drawing 3,921, guys 1,650, artist 1,540, fear 1,325, mind 1,298, vent 1,133, helpless 1,063, ilbv 830, human being 810, dudes 617, help 566, weak 537, struggle 348, vent art 347, thinking 334, worry 170, afraid 149, mental 144, anxiety 143, thoughts 141, journey 136, envy 115, anthro wolf 109, trauma 88, social 83, artists 56, medal 48, were wolf 31, judas 29, overwhelmed 11, nonvore 9, ambition 7, participation 4, non vore 2, overthinking 1
Type: Sketch
Published: 2 years ago
Rating: General

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