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ilbv
ilbv's Scraps (274)

Participation

Peril in the Park

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by ilbv
Santa Judas and the Hidden Present
Last in pool
While trying -my best- to draw characters from their refs by far more talented artists than myself, for ych raffle prizes I had an upheave of internal anxious emotional trauma. "I'll never be good at this, wow I really suck, why cant I draw smooth lines, these characters are do complex to draw. How did stick figured become so challenging? what's happening to me? I want to fit in. I want to belong. I want to be accepted by the people I admire. I feel invisible by the people I want to see me. I don't even know what to say to get their attention, I'm a nervous ashamed wreck. Why am I failing so much? I wish I was as fast as *artist*, I wish I was as smooth as *artist*, I wish I was as smart as *artist*, I wish I was creative as *artist*, I wish I was funny like *artistssssssss*. Overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking mindcrack mindcrack mindcrack. So embarrassed. I'm better off alone but I'm so lonely. This people, is the struggle of the socially awkward - which I feel with some and not others. Blegh, words and feelings and sleepless nights.

Other titles I was flicking between were. "Best is not good enough" "Supportive Werewolf" "Sad Dreams". Judas is the werewolf in this and I have no idea why, he's been on my mind a lot I guess. Love him, miss him, must draw and write him more. Ugh and so many others. My ambitions are going to kill me.

Clearly a vent art doodle. This doodle is not my best, very little care was actually put into it, but the feelings are real and I don't know what to do :( please don't hate me. I'm lost and trying to find my way.

Keywords
male 646,111, wolf 112,283, canine 89,757, human 47,634, sketch 31,618, males 28,803, art 12,220, doodle 9,143, werewolf 5,645, drawing 4,070, guys 1,654, artist 1,619, fear 1,370, mind 1,325, vent 1,153, helpless 1,078, ilbv 830, human being 815, dudes 615, help 575, weak 545, struggle 354, vent art 350, thinking 346, worry 174, mental 153, afraid 151, anxiety 149, thoughts 142, journey 134, envy 119, anthro wolf 116, trauma 90, social 84, medal 50, artists 47, were wolf 32, judas 29, overwhelmed 12, nonvore 9, ambition 7, participation 4, non vore 2, overthinking 1
Details
Type: Sketch
Published: 2 years, 2 months ago
Rating: General

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