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by ilbv

Scraps

Judas

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An Image of What I Wanted - Commission Idea Sketch

While trying -my best- to draw characters from their refs by far more talented artists than myself, for ych raffle prizes I had an upheave of internal anxious emotional trauma. "I'll never be good at this, wow I really suck, why cant I draw smooth lines, these characters are do complex to draw. How did stick figured become so challenging? what's happening to me? I want to fit in. I want to belong. I want to be accepted by the people I admire. I feel invisible by the people I want to see me. I don't even know what to say to get their attention, I'm a nervous ashamed wreck. Why am I failing so much? I wish I was as fast as *artist*, I wish I was as smooth as *artist*, I wish I was as smart as *artist*, I wish I was creative as *artist*, I wish I was funny like *artistssssssss*. Overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking mindcrack mindcrack mindcrack. So embarrassed. I'm better off alone but I'm so lonely. This people, is the struggle of the socially awkward - which I feel with some and not others. Blegh, words and feelings and sleepless nights.

Other titles I was flicking between were. "Best is not good enough" "Supportive Werewolf" "Sad Dreams". Judas is the werewolf in this and I have no idea why, he's been on my mind a lot I guess. Love him, miss him, must draw and write him more. Ugh and so many others. My ambitions are going to kill me.

Clearly a vent art doodle. This doodle is not my best, very little care was actually put into it, but the feelings are real and I don't know what to do :( please don't hate me. I'm lost and trying to find my way.

Keywords

male 1,173,844, wolf 190,530, canine 186,344, human 106,438, sketch 61,807, males 42,794, art 33,288, doodle 16,647, drawing 13,829, werewolf 11,468, artist 5,489, fear 2,710, guys 2,236, vent 1,960, human being 1,954, helpless 1,920, mind 1,752, ilbv 973, dudes 919, struggle 874, thinking 757, help 749, vent art 735, weak 618, trauma 398, worry 330, afraid 325, mental 317, anxiety 310, envy 252, anthro wolf 247, thoughts 244, journey 227, medal 157, social 131, artists 111, overwhelmed 81, judas 65, were wolf 44, non vore 19, nonvore 19, ambition 8, participation 6, overthinking 4

Details

Type: Sketch

Published: 8 years, 2 months ago

Rating: General

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