Hey its...me again... mind if I talk for a little...? Thanks...you're really nice for doing this...
Life has been weird lately. Well..not really weird, just different for me. I suppose I've been working a lot more. Time seems to slip away and go when I close my eyes. Holds onto my tail and won't let go when my feet are hurting and my mind is aching. My bike got stolen two nights ago. I know I'm just a ghost so it doesn't really matter what with the no legs thing I have going on..also it was kind of falling apart too..but I liked that bike...you know..?
I've never felt this tired before. I'm worried I may be very sick, and I can't afford to be sick right now. Some nights at the warehouse I work in, I'll be in the bathroom and running a cold wisp rag over my forehead and staring at my pale reflection in the mirror. I can't get sick..my body feels so tired and weak.
So why am I telling any of you this...?..Well..I guess because..
The first thing I do when I leave the bathroom is smile and start talking to someone, anyone to give them something to laugh or think about. When I found the bike missing..I just laughed and looked up at the moon. My very thirst thoughts about whoever did it was "" Be safe, don't do this again, and find peace. " Even when I'm tired, I'm happy to have a moment, any moment to just sketch something and find my mind again. There are a lot of things that surround us every day that can be depressing, that can consume us and submerge us in a belief. That life is terrible, and that people are the most terrible of all. I hope you have not reached this point...I hope you never do.
These moments are not here to punish you. Life is not a testament to how much one can take before they are broken, but of lessons and opportunity to tell yourself you can do something different, and be in a spotlight of your own. All these terrible and good things are your chance to stand above them when you can, to stride through people who have forgotten kindness and how to dream; to find strength in your weakness you never knew was there before, and it is. I will never tell you this will be easy. Doubt will find you first. Desperation will find you last. Somewhere in the middle however...there is you, and I know you will reach beyond the start and end of the premise, whatever it may be. My legs are weak right now but I'll be standing with you whenever you need it.
...now..I need to rest...I really, really do...I'm sorry I don't tell you...all the nice things as often as I should...you be good now..
2 years, 2 months ago
12 Aug 2016 07:36 CEST
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