Raphael was at a loss for what to do. He wanted to go to Michelangelo or Leonardo for help, but the thought made him cringe. Raph, the ever bold hothead, did not ask for help.
The elder did not leave the smaller's side. Fearing that whatever progress they had been trying to make would be lost at a blink of an eye. Raphael was at least relieved to know that Don did not look in pain, but he was still worried.
Raph stayed with him all day and night, not at all moving until the said turtle decided to wake up. He would never make the smaller feel abandoned again.
Early the next morning Donnie finally started to stir awake, holding onto the closest thing to him that happened to be Raph and not his blankets.
His head was still aching and his sleep had been plagued with weird dreams and nightmares that had him crying out on minute and then silent and looking peaceful the next.
Raphael had not gotten much sleep. Though he instantly awoke in a small fright when something or someone grabbed onto him.
Raph's heart about jumped right out of his chest, but he slowly calmed down once he realized that it was only Donatello and managed a small smile when he seen that he was starting to wake up and nudged him gently.
"Donnie? Are ya okay?"
"H.hurts..." Donnie complained while rubbing his head. He still had a bad headache but was too tired and trying not to think about why that was, though obviously it wasn't easy.
He didn't ask for painkillers since he wasn't usually allowed them unless he had a bad injury or something and then it was only if people were feeling generous
Raphael frowned to this and knew what he needed to do. The hothead gently lifted Don and had him lay on the bed. "Wait here. I will be back in a minute." raph silently left the smaller's room and headed into the bathroom. The larger turtle went through the medicine cabinet and pulled out some aspirin.
Raphael silently made his way back into the room, pills and a glass of water in hand he had snatched from the kitchen.
"Take this." Raph pressed gently, helping Don sit up.
For once Donnie stayed on the bed instead of struggling to the floor to get to his nest under the bed. When Raph came back he tried to smile but scooted away with wide eyes when he saw the little white pills.
"D.dont want t.to be d.drugged..." He pleaded, showing that he was used to being drugged up by the humans, he still was a little scared of things that weren't going to happen anymore
Raphael was shocked when Don pulled away so quickly. The fear in Donnie's eyes worried him.
The hothead frowned deeply and tried not to growl at the images of the foot drugging the poor innocent turtle.
Raph slowly shook his head and tried to stay focus. "It's for yer headache Don. I told ya ba'fore. No one will hurt ya here. But if you still feel unsafe about taking them then I understand."
Donnie really wasn't sure about taking pills, it very rarely turned out well for him... But Raph was his Master now, He wouldn't hurt him. Right?
He took the cup of water and drank a little while still staring at the tablets. Slowly he reached out and took them, swallowing them down before curling back up on the bed, keeping his eyes on Raph
Raphael watched as Don seemed to be having an argument within his head. Just as he was about to pull the pills away from him, Don had reached out and grabbed them. Drinking the water he was given to wash it down.
Though, the hothead rubbed the back of his head nervously, his cheeks turning a light pink as those big brown eyes looked up at him, obviously wondered what the larger turtle's move would be next. Or, did Don want him to lay down next to him? He wasn't sure.
"um... is there anythin' else I could do fer ya Don?"
Donnie just stayed curled up but cast his eyes to the floor. "Y.you don't h.have to do a.anything for me m.master" Raph could do what he liked to him. He wasn't sure whether to go back to his nest or stay on the bare mattress on the bed, it felt weird to be on a bed.
"T.thank you f.for the drugs..." He hoped they were only painkillers, but he'd learnt to thank people for everything anyway.
Raphael sighed and shook his head, trying not to show how much that name bothered him but it did. He did not want Donatello to see him as his Master or someone who will use him.
But what were they now? They were no longer brothers, that was for sure. That was something that Raph would think about on a later date.
"I told ya, we ain't gonna drug ya." Raphael said quietly, sitting on the bed next to the smaller turtle and putting a blanket around him. Raph gave Donnie a sad, yet warm smile. "m sorry I couldn' protect ya." He mumbled to both himself and to the smaller form in front of him.
Donnie didn't say anything as he snuggled up in the blanket. "H.hurt to t.hink" Everything he'd even known just came crashing down around him and he didn't know who was lying.
He wanted Raphs story to be true, but that hurt even more because he'd cried for his family as a child and they never came. He used to dream his family would come and get him and he'd have a happy life with them, but it never came, and he never once tried to escape.
Raph said nothing else either and just stayed with the smaller turtle. Donatello had been through so much. Things that he could never imagine. Things that he wished had never happened in the first place.
The hothead's mind suddenly thought to last night and his face flushed. It was true, he had grew feelings towards his youngest sibling. Feelings that had to have been there all along, despite how fast they had grown in such a short amount of time.
Raphael stayed by Don's side, just being there for him as much as he knew how to. The large turtle stared at the wall, his mind racing over their childhood and of what they were going to do.
Soon Don moved to curl back up in Raph's lap, cuddling close to get some physical affection as well. Suddenly he realised what he was doing and pulled back a little. "I.is this ok?" He didn't want to be so close if Raph didn't want him too
Mikey poked his head in and suddenly perked up when he saw Donnie was awake. "Leo! He woke up!" He called out towards the dojo where Leo was training or meditating, he'd been so worried when he found out Donnie had passed out that he'd been trying to think of ways to make Donnie heal faster since.
Raphael had just been about to answer when Michelangelo showed up, grinning brightly and happy to know that Donatello was alright. However, Raph was not. Guilt ate at him, knowing that he could not tell his other brothers what had just transpired between Donnie and himself.
"He woke up a bit ago. Gave him some painkillers." Raph mumbled, not making eye contact. Also feeling another wave of guilt for not giving Donnie some wanted affection.
Leonardo waltzed into the room, a relieved smile on his face. "Ah, it's good to see that you are awake Donatello. Are you feeling alright? Would you like something to eat or drink?" The leader was worried and was also a little confused as to why Raphael seemed to be the only one Don opened up to.
When Raph didn't say that it was ok to cuddle up to him Donnie moved away to curl up on his own in the bed.
He looked up at Leo and timidly shook his head, still not used to eating or drinking much even though he'd been passed out since yesterday afternoon.
Mikey sat down next to him and stroked his head gently, watching Donnie lean into the touch like a cat liking the physical touch. He guessed Donnie was used to being touched a lot
Raphael looked over and watched as Michelangelo pat Don's head. Something pooled within his stomach and for some reason, he really did not like how Mikey had his hands on Don.
It was a possessive instinct. The alpha in him was jealous. He only wanted Donnie to rub up into his caresses like that or for him to be the only one to touch him. He had no idea where these thoughts were coming from but he felt strongly about it.
Raphael mumbled something under his breath and looked away from the scene. He was angry, but he could not do anything about it until Leonardo and Michelangelo left the room.
Leonardo frowned when Don shook his head no. This was bad, if Don did not eat something then he would only get worse. Eating right and getting lots of rest were the only ways for Donnie to get better.
Though, Leo shifted awkwardly at the tension within the air. What was that about?
Mikey continued to pet Donnie and put his head in his lap to be a bit more comfortable since all the pillows were under the bed in his little nest. "Is it ok to touch you like this?" Mikey asked, hoping that Donnie didn't take it the wrong way.
Donnie only nodded and curled up comfortably. He'd wanted to do this with Raph but he hadn't answered when he'd asked if it was ok.
Michelangelo was also worried that Donnie didn't seem to want to eat, to him he'd probably eaten enough yesterday but they needed to get him eating daily at least. They could order him to eat but would that really be a good idea when they were trying to make him more independent and think for himself?
It was the last straw for Raphael when Michelangelo pulled Donatello's head onto his lap. The larger turtle coughed awkwardly and tried to stir up a conversation to get Mikey and Leo out of the room.
"Hey Mike, why don't cha fix up some lunch bro?" Raph asked smoothly, trying not to show the jealousy he felt.
Leonardo raised an eyebrow but said nothing about it. Donatello did need to eat anyway. "I'll help you Mikey."
Once Leo and Mike left the room, Raphael pulled Donnie close, his jealously slowly going away. "Sorry, I didn't - I wanted ta hold ya instead." He answered honestly, embarrassed.
Donnie cuddled up close to Raph, feeling a little guilty. Did Raph not want him to be close to anyone else? Mikey's petting had felt like praise and he'd enjoyed it...
"D.did I do... Bad M.master?" He liked to be close to Raph but was he only allowed to be touched by him? He could do that if he wanted him too, he liked affection from his Master, nuzzling into his plastron for attention and waiting to be told if he was being good.
Everyone would be going to eat soon but Don had already said that he didn't need any, he'd eaten a lot for him the day before when he'd had a bowl of scrambled eggs and a sandwich
The larger turtle pulled Donatello closer when he nuzzled his plastron and managed a small smile. Feeling stupid for being jealous over something so silly. Donnie needed affection and to know that he was loved
Don needed independence. And he knew that the smaller turtle wanted those things for himself too.
Raph slowly shook his head at the question. "No, ya did nothing wrong Don." He said honestly, giving him a soft smile and gently rubbing his head. Though he frowned at the Master comment. "Don I told ya. ‘M not yer master. Yer allowed to think fer yerself now."
Donnie was loving the physical affections, curled up comfortably in Raph's lap and even let out a soft purr as his master pet his head like he was praising him for being a good boy.
"I...D.don't want to think..." He admitted quietly. Thinking made his head hurt because he was constantly at war with himself on what was real and what was a lie.
He had never had independance, not really sure if he wanted it. It was hard to have to think and do everything for himself, usually he could just sit back and wait to be told what to do "W.what do you w.want me to call you?"
Raphael continued his soft caresses upon Donatello's head. Though it was in an affectionate way and not at all like a pet.
The larger turtle frowned to this. It already hurt to know that Don did not remember them. But having it repeated hurt him a little more. "My name is Raphael. But ya can call me Raph. "
"I.i know..." He said timidly, having taking in every word they had said to each other and picking up their names based on their colours, though without their bandanas he would probably get their names wrong. "Y.you just w.want me to call you R.raph?"
The soft caresses felt even better than the petting and he gave a soft churr of contentment instead of arousal.
Raphael responded with a soft churr of his own out of instinct. "Yes, I know yer confused Don and ya can take all the time ya need. But I would like fer ya ta call me Raph."
For years Don had gone through things that Raphael or the others could never really understand. Torture. Suffering. Malnutrition. Abuse. Rape. And above all, Don had never experienced love.
Out of all them, Don was the one who deserved love the most.
Raphael felt his heart break a little at the thought and continued his soft caresses of his head.
"O.okay. Raph..." He smiled softly back, just melting into the affectionate touches and wanting to give Raph some back.
Slowly he started to caress and rub the strong emerald thighs from where he was laying with his head in Raph's lap
Raphael felt happy about the soft smile he was given. It made him feel a little better knowing that Don was slowly coming out of hiding and slowly, ever so slowly, coming back to his normal self. Though Raph knew he would never really be the same.
The larger turtle's eyes widened and he shifted awkwardly. He knew Don meant nothing by it, but those soft fingers caressing his thighs were sending happy shivers to his groin and he knew that things would get bad.
"Raphael! Donatello! It's time to eat!"
Raphael was startled by Leonardo calling out for them and looked down towards the smaller turtle. "Come on Don. We can um... Well ya need ta eat." The larger turtle was nervous. Especially because those soft caresses were doing things to his body that he never thought possible.
Donnie frowned but stopped and stood up to wait for Raph. He didn't really feel like he needed to eat, but if Master wanted him too then he would.
When the two of them came into the kitchen Mikey beamed at them and nudged Leo to show him that Donnie had came as well. "Hey, Donnie. Decided to eat after all did you?"
Leonardo looked up and was surprised. Seeing as though Donatello had completely denied his request to eat a few minutes ago.
From the looks of things, Donatello seemed to be really close to Raph and seemed to listen to him the most. It was a good thing though, but something bugged him.
"It's nice of you to join us Don. I was thinking that after this, if you would like, we could possibly brush up on some reading?"
Raphael smiled at the suggestion and nodded towards Mike. "He needs ta eat. And I think some reading will be good. Since Don's smart with that stuff."
Raph said that he needed to eat so he would. Once he heard about reading though he perked up and his tail started to wag in excitement. "I.i can learn to R.read?" He said hopefully, clearly having not read or picked up a book since he was taken all those years ago, he couldn't even remember how to read the most basic children’s books that he’d mastered before he was taken from them.
He made his way over to the table and went to sit on the floor, getting half way down before remembering that they liked him to sit on the chair instead.
Leonardo nodded his head. It made him smile slightly to know that learning to read was making the smaller happy. Donatello was very smart as a child and he had a feeling that those habits have not died.
Raphael was about to say something, but Don had quickly went for the chair instead of the floor. It was going to take a lot of time before the smaller could get the swing of things. But baby steps.
The large turtle grabbed some meat and slapped it onto his plate and without a word, he placed some onto Donatello's as well. Don needed his strength back and Raph was determined to help him.
Don was quick to start eating the meat once it was on his plate, wanting to be a good boy and eat like Master wanted him to even though he wouldn't normally.
The small turtle was growing needy for praise and affectionate touches, having never gotten them before, he was getting greedy for them to continue. He was going to be a good boy to get rewards and hopefully not do anything that would get any punishments.
Raphael watched Donatello for a moment. He could tell that the smaller was anxious. By his stance and from his scent.
The hothead figured it was because he was excited to read, though that was not the case.
Once everyone was finished eating, Raphael led Donatello towards the bookshelf. "Ya can pick whateva one ya want Don."
Donnie wiped his hands on his legs since he'd eaten with his hands again and not with cutlery.
"i.i don't know w.what they are." He said as he stared at the books in amazement. He'd always wanted to learn and read but he was never taught and always told that intelligence would be wasted on someone so pathetic.
Raphael felt a little sheepish and ran a hand over his face. Of course Don wouldn't. He had forgotten how to read.
And the thought placed a heavy weight onto his heart.
Raph chose a children's book to start. Once Don got the hang of those, they would work their way up to intermediate, to teen, and then finally adult.
The large turtle took Don to his room and placed pillows and blankets for them on the floor to get more comfortable. Raphael sat close to Don as he opened up the first page. It was honestly difficult for him. Knowing that Don was a grown adult and had no mindset of knowing how to read broke his heart.
Donnie felt a rush of excitement as he opened the children's book, he knew they'd have to start with really young childs stories so that he could learn, but hopefully he would work up to reading things that could help him learn more.
The words meant nothing to him but he stared down at them with interest, just looking at the words before looking up at Raph hopeful that he would help him learn to understand
Raphael smiled as Don looked up at him and he slowly began to teach him the words. He was slow and cautious. Making sure to pronounce each and every word correctly. Though it was difficult for him, due to his accent.
The hothead repeated each word until Don was able to read it back to him. Raph was honestly amazed at how fast Donnie was catching on. Once he knew Don was ready to move on, he turned the page. Doing the same thing over again.
"Do ya understand it?"
Don struggled at first but after awhile it seemed to get easier, the simple words started to come back to him from where he'd leant from Splinter as a child. "I.i think so..."
Certain words were strange since Donnie would repeat it in Raphs accent without realizing and have to try and learn to say it properly with help
It was a struggle. But the two had managed to work through most if the pages. The larger turtle had stopped for a moment. He figured Don would need a moment to let it all sink in.
Though, the way Donnie said things in his accent was oddly adorable.
Raphael smiled as he patted Don's head. "Yer really smart Don. Sorry fer pronouncing them wrong."
"I.i like how you speak... A.all the h.humans speak differantly t.too." He smiled up at Raph during the little break, loving the praise and physical attention.
After a few more moments rest Donnie turned the book back to the beginning and slowly sounded out the words, stuttering and looking to Raph for help when he couldn't get the word right.
The book was from their childhood and for a reading age of about a five year old, Donnie was struggling a little on some of the words, but he was picking it up fairly quickly considering he couldn't read at all when they started. Now he could read the simple words by himself
Raphael was proud of both Donnie and himself. The smaller had learned quickly, although there were minor struggles. Raph was nervous of helping him with this at first because he was not sure what he was doing. But he must have been doing something right for Don to catch on so quickly.
Raph moved on to the rest of the story. This time he had Don try to sound it first before saying it correctly to him. After that, the smaller was able to read the rest by himself.
With a huge grin, Raphael patted Don's head. "Yer awesome Donnie-boy."
Don had struggled a lot more when he tried to read it himself first, needing a lot of help to get by the rest of the book since he didn't know what words were coming up. It was the youngest children's book they still owned but Donnie was slowly starting to get better at reading it.
Surprisingly for Raph Donnie could sound things out, but only hard pronunciations were easy for him, he knew the letters of the alphabet but not the other sounds the letters could make. He had kept repeating the alphabet over and over to himself over the years as a way to keep the little education he could remember.
Raphael went over each synonym and pronoun citation as careful as possible. Making sure to say it in a way that Donatello would understand. Once they got to the end, raph had Don read the whole thing to him from the beginning and went over words he was still having trouble with.
Once Donnie finished Raphael placed the book aside and had a warm smile on his face when he seen how happy Don was. Learning new things had always excited Don in the past and he was glad that those little spurts have not changed.
"Would ya like ta try another one? Or would ya like to work on more words instead?"
"I.i Don't mind." He still wasn't confident or very comfortable making decisions himself. He'd rather be told what to do then use his own free will, there was less chance of anyone getting angry at him that way
Raphael just watched him for a moment. Don spoke nervously. He always stuttered. Which he did not need too. The smaller should know by now that no punishment will come if he spoke.
Actually, no punishments would come to him at all.
"Ya Don' need ta be so nervous Don. Yer allowed to speak yer mind. I told ya ba'fore. Ya ain't a prisoner here."
"O.ok Mas... Raph." He quickly corrected since Raph didn't like to be called Master. Did he notice his slip? He wasn't going to be punished for that was he? "S.sorry..."
He curled up a little more in Raph's lap and tried to just distract himself with the book, fidgeting with it and not really sure what to do.
Raphael shook his head. "Ya Don' need ta be sorry." The larger spoke softly, a small smile on his face when he seen Don fidgeting with the book. Hinting that he wanted to go over it again.
Raph held the smaller close and helped him open up the book. Though this time he had Don read it by himself. And only helping when he needed it.
Donnie slowly read through the book, stuttering and sounding out certain words. Occasionally a word or two that was harder to pronounce or weren't said properly because he'd learned with Raphs accent changing the sounds a little bit.
The book only had about twenty pages of big writing and short paragraphs, but it took Donnie over five minutes to work through it with help.
Raphael placed the book aside once they were finished. He figured it might be easier if Leo it Mikey had helped. Since Raphael's accent would more than likely throw Don off. But the smaller seemed content with Raph teaching him. So he figured that was a good thing.
The larger turtle held Don close and began to caress his head out of habit. Donnie seemed to like this show of affection so he kept doing it. Offering him a small smile.
Despite everything Don had been through. The larger turtle could tell that Donnie was not fully lost yet. And that things would get better.
Donnie fully relaxed and put the book to the side to just enjoy the caresses and soft touches that Raph was giving him. To him it was praise for doing a good job in learning to read and he was happy to soak it up like a sponge with a little happy churr.
"I.i did good?" He asked just to make sure that he'd pleased his master and deserved this nice praise.
Raphael sighed softly. It hurt him more than he let on to know that Don always had to ask if he had done good. As though Raph would punish him if he hadn't. But the larger turtle would never do that.
"I told ya, yer smart. I knew ya would catch on quick." Raphael stated with a grin, continuing his soft caresses.
"I... r.remember l.learning letters." He said timidly, admitting that he was a little educated which he would never have done at the foot.
Raph hadn't directly said he was good which worried him but it sounded like he was pleased with him, which made him nuzzle up to him a little more with his scarred and burnt tail wagging slowly
That was good. That meant that Don had not completely forgotten everything when he was with the foot. He had remembered some things. Though it was obvious Donnie was scared to admit such things. Fearing that he would be punished.
It was hard. To not say the wrong things or give Don the wrong idea. The poor turtle had been abused for even speaking, Raphael realized and it hurt so much.
Donatello deserved a life filled with love and happiness. He was such an innocent and good soul back when they were kids. He was like Raph's best friend and little brother.
Now, Don was like a fragile doll who could break by just one simple touch. And for once in his life, Raphael felt scared.
When Raph didn't say anything Donnie got nervous again, was he mad that he had kept hold of his letters? He nuzzled up to Raph with another small whimper, scared the other would think less of him for being educated even a little.
The foot had always tried to repress Donnie in every way, not allowing him to become smart incase he figured out that everything was a lie, and kept weak enough that he couldn’t fight them or rise against them.
Raphael looked down at the smaller nuzzling up to him and managed a small smile. "I'm glad ta know that ya were able ta keep something's ta yerself."
Though he felt a boiling anger deep within his gut. The foot. The shredder. All of them had done such terrible things to Donnie. Things that should not go by without punishment.
Raph was having dark thoughts. He wanted to make them all suffer like Don had. Without mercy. The thought of stabbing each and every one of them with his sai made his vision go red.
He wanted them dead. All of them.
Donnie could feel the anger rolling off Raph and it scared him, clutching onto him tighter and trying to feel a little more secure. He hoped that anger wasn't directed at him but who else would it be directed at? They were the only ones in the room and the only thing that had changed was that Raph had learnt that he knew his letters.
"A.are you p.pleased with me Master?" In his fear he didn't think about the fact that Raph didn't like his title, he was too worried that he was angry and that he'd get punished. Raph was so strong that it would hurt even worse from him then it did with the humans...
The soft voice brought him out of his dark thoughts. And Raphael remembered where he was and who he was with. The larger turtle felt guilt when he looked into Don's scared auburn eyes. He was still angry though and he did not want Don to feel as though it was directed at him because it wasn't.
"Sorry. I didn't - I'm not mad at ya. Didn't mean ta scare ya. I'll be right back." Raphael mumbled, patting Don on his head once more and gently placed him onto the pile of blankets on the floor and left the room.
He was angry. All he saw was red. And he had to go away. Donnie did not deserve his temper. Raphael looked towards the door.
No, he knew who deserved his anger. And he was determined to get rid of said anger.
Donnie curled up in his little nest on the floor, despite Raph saying he wasn't mad at him he could feel how angry he was and he was the only one that had been around him.
He was scared of a punishment and quickly looked around the room, spotting the old wardrobe and moving over to sit inside with a blanket around him. If they couldn't find him he couldn't be punished and they'd lose interest, that how it always worked, no one cared enough to chase him around for a punishment and last time they had found him easily under the bed.
In the wardrobe it was cramped and dark but he was used to that, feeling comfort from the small space because he knew that nothing could be hiding in the darkness with him.
