#1
“Ordo postulat Pengu pisces, ordo postulat Pengu pisces,ordo postulat Pengu pisces...”
The chant filled the hall as several rows of penguins in black robes repeated it while waiting. A fire phoenix dressed in the same robes as the penguins held up his wings to silence the gathering.
“Order of Pengu! I present to you our leader, chief penguin Zzyzx!”
The gathering cheered as Zzyzx stood next to the phoenix. He held up his flippers and lowered them, bringing the others to silence. He turned to the phoenix before speaking.
“Order of pengu! I am proud to inform you that we now have an official insignia thanks to our second in command, Aohd.”
He gestured toward the phoenix who waved to everyone as they cheered.
“Indeed. Without further delay, REVEAL THE INSIGNIA!”
A banner unveiled, to reveal a solid black silhouette of a penguin with a white question mark over its belly. Aohd looked at the banner with a grin and crossed wings. Zzyzx stood still with his beak open.
“Aohd, please tell me this is a very bad, very expensive joke.”
“No, that's the cult insignia.”
“How is that suppose to represent a secret cult of mystical penguin culture?”
“We're a cult of mystical penguin culture?”
“That's what I'm going with for right now. It's the only way we can get a legit tax write-off.”
“Hmm, now it makes sense why we mostly sit around, drink, and play parlor games.”
“Okay, we may not be totally organized but is this really what came to mind when you hear 'Order of Pengu'?”
“Just take a minute to think about it Z.”
“Don't call me Z.”
“You hear 'Order of Pengu', you don't know what the hell to think. You see that penguin with a question on its belly, you sure as hell don't know what to think.”
Zzyzx stared at the grinning phoenix with an annoyed look.
“Why are we friends and why did I make you my second in command?”
“Because of fiery personality and I look amazing on the hood of a black Pontiac Firebird?”
Zzyzx sighed as he turned to face the cultist who were still staring.
“Normally I would strangle Aohd for something like this but he makes a valid point. Our new insignia does mask our intentions... What ever they may be. Wear our new symbol proud and spread the word of Pengu!”
The crowd cheered and clapped again. Zzyzx waited for them to quiet down before continuing.
“That being said, we are still looking for new members. Specifically anyone with specialized skills that will further advance the progress of Pengu. Not a penguin, not really an issue. Unless they are from that seal cult from across the street. I can't stand those guys.”
The crowd booed at the mentioning of the seal cult across the street. Aohd calmed the cult down this time.
“Now, we all know about the issues with the seal cult across the street but this isn't about them at the moment. Now is the time for friends new and old. Remember, when you recruit members, mention our 'no suicide pact' agreement. Individual suicide is a personal choice. A deep, personal choice one should not make lightly.”
The members talked among themselves as they seemed to agree with the message Aohd presented. Zzyzx cleared his throat and continued speaking.
“Agreed. As Aohd mentioned, highlight the benefits of joining the Order of Pengu. We can promise there will not be an intentional repeat of the tainted fruit punch incident from last year.”
Aohd shuddered as he remembered the tainted punch incident and the lines for the restrooms. Zzyzx also stared off for a minute as he remembered the clean up after. The chief penguin shook his head to come back to his senses before continuing.
“That being said, I formally bring this meeting to a close. As usual the snack bar is open and we have two kegs tonight. A German and a Canadian honey beer.”
“What about American beer?” someone called out from among the cultist. Aohd quickly yelled, “NO ONE WANTS AMERICAN BEER!” as the other cultist stared at the one member who asked the question. Zzyzx cleared his throat again and continued.
“Okay then. Per usual, leave feedback, comments, and concerns in the suggestion box and we will see you all next week. Ordo postulat Pengu pisces.
“Ordo postulat Pengu pisces.” replied the cultists? before they began snacking and mingling among each other. Aohd walked up to Zzyzx with two cups of beer. The penguin was still looking at the banner as he sighed.
“I mean really Aohd, you couldn't have thought of something a little more serious.”
“Hey. If you didn't have faith in me you should have designed it yourself. Sides, my guy gave me a good deal on that. I got one of each which one do you want?”
“I'll take the honey one.”
Aohd handed him one of the cups as they walked of the main stage. Zzyzx took a sip of his drink before asking, “So you said you had a potential recruit for our R&D department?”
“Yep. She's a deer but she shows strong interest in both science and mystical research. Not exactly sure to what extent but she can't hurt our cause any.”
“I'll say. Did the lab guys ever figure out what that weird one eyed starfish thing with the tentacles was?”
“No, but it is kind of hard to figure out what something is when all you have to go by is it screeching at you before jumping through a portal that goes to who knows where. But I can tell you this much, it wasn't natural or man made.”
“Well you should know Aohd, being from hell and all. How does that work again?”
“I told you Zzyzx, I used to be a guardian for the gates of hell. I got bored one day and took a walk and before I knew it I found myself here.”
Zzyzx stared at the Phoenix with a confused look.
“Didn't you say last time that you were part of some weird work exchange program with hell?”
“I dunno, that sounds like it could also be a thing.”
Zzyzx sighed and finished his beer.”
“So when can we meet this science doe?”
“We are going to meet her tomorrow before lunch. Just let me do the talking and everything will be fine.”
“Every time you say that I end up in the hospital or we have to put out a fire.”
“Not every time. But remind me to bring this high powered flashlight. I want to see if that thing about deer in headlights are true.”
Zzyzx moaned as he watched Aohd shine his flashlight against the wall while giggling to himself.
