Leo’s nightmares were always so vivid. The sound of the Shredder’s voice echoed in his mind. He could feel the bones breaking from blows from the Foot soldiers or the cold of Karai’s blade as it pierced his flesh. He could smell the blood of his father and brothers as it seeped from their wounds. He could feel the heat of the flames and the force of the blast as the ship exploded.
Every failure relived. Every pain remembered.
Sometimes they were so real that they would cause him to cry out in his sleep. Michelangelo tried to soothe him, running his hand along Leo’s carapace. It was reassuring and most of the time it worked but for some reason, tonight, Leo couldn’t get himself to calm back down.
To keep from disturbing Mikey any more, Leo decided to get up for a little while. He headed into the kitchen for a cup of herbal tea and a melatonin tablet. He hated resorting to such things but sometimes it couldn’t be helped. Not when his stress levels were so high.
When he opened the door to the kitchen Leo was surprised to see Donatello pouring water into a mug. The genius turtle jumped a little, sloshing hot water onto the counter as he turned. “Oh, Leo, you startled me.”
“I wasn’t expecting anyone to be in here,” Leo said as he entered the kitchen. “Is there enough water for two?”
“There was,” Donny chuckled, reaching for the dish towel. “Before I spilt it on the counter.”
“You have what’s left.” Leo headed to the cabinet for a mug. “I’ll warm up some more.”
“So… why are you awake,” Donny ventured to ask.
Leo shrugged as he filled up the kettle with water. “Bad dream. You?”
“Same,” Donny stated. He handed the box of assorted herbal teas to Leo. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Do you wanna talk about yours?” Leo countered as he selected his tea bag. “Yours had to’ve been bad if you’re drinking tea.”
Donny laughed and leaned back against the counter. “Sometimes my nightmares are about that dystopic future the time scepter sent me too. I can still vividly remember watching the older versions of you guys die.” He took a sip of his tea as he thought. “Deep down I still fear that something will happen to make that future come to pass.”
Leo nodded his understanding as he poured hot water into his mug. “I do understand your fear but Shredder is dead and Karai is… no longer our enemy. That should ease you mind a little.”
“I know.” Donny managed a weak smile. “It does. Those nightmares don’t happen as often as they used to.” Tilting his head he looked Leo in the eye. “Your turn.”
“Ah.” Leo smiled at his brother. “That’s how this is going to play out. Okay.” Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Leo thought about which one of his many nightmares he wanted to talk about. He settled on his oldest one. “I have nightmares of being chased and ambushed. That day the Shredder and the Foot attacked me was my first great failure in life. After seeing what the Purple Dragons had done to Raph….” Leo shook his head in an attempt to clear the mental images. “It just brought all of those memories to the surface.”
Donatello sipped at his tea and thought for a moment. “I have nightmares of becoming that monster again, losing my mind and tearing through our family.”
“Most of the time my dreams are generic,” Leo admitted. “We’re out on a mission and I manage to get you all killed. Though, I do still have nightmares of Karai running me through with her sword as well.”
Donny looked down into his cup of tea. “I have nightmares that I start to fall apart like Stockman did, losing my mind as I disintegrate into nothing.”
“I have those nightmares too,” Leo stated. “My biggest fear is losing you guys as I stand helpless to prevent it.”
“We’ve been through so much in only a few years.” Donny placed his mug on the counter and walked towards Leo. Not really sure what was happening, Leo placed his mug on the counter. It was a good thing that he had. Donny leaned in and placed his head against Leo’s chest and then wrapped his arms around Leo’s waist.
Wrapping his arms around Donny, Leo gently returned the embrace. “We have,” he agreed. “But at least we still have each other.”
….
A good morning practice always left Leo feeling accomplished and eased the stress. It soothed his nerves to see his brothers fight so well and take their training seriously. Even Tello had come a long way with his technique, falling in line with the others and holding his own in one-on-one training.
One day the girls will join them for morning training. But until they lay their eggs, Sliver had given them reprieve. Apparently it was hard for the girls to bend and balance with the added weight.
Leo headed to the showers with his brothers so they could wash the smell of sweat from their bodies. The large, retrofitted shower accommodated the five of them. They took the opportunity to help each other clean the grime off of their shells and Donny checked any sore muscles.
Once they were done they had some free time before they had more lessons. Splinter never allowed them to be idle for long.
Leonardo usually spent his morning free time meditating alone in his room and he didn’t intend for today to be any different. So he made his way down stairs to his room. As he passed the dojo he could hear the sounds of the girls practicing their instruments.
Pausing on the final step, Leo listened for a moment. The sound was so lovely that he eventually sat down. Meditation could wait.
The songs where ones that he had not heard before. Then again, he wasn’t familiar with classical Japanese music. From what he could tell, like Japanese literature and poetry, the music was uniquely beautiful.
He closed his eyes so that he could focus entirely on the music. He could almost pick out the girls’ personalities in the way they played their instruments.
One of the flutes’ melodies was even and precise, leading Leo to believe that it was Leah. The other had a slightly harsher and forced sound to it, giving the impression that it was Rachael. Michelle had to have been the one playing the koto loudly with a slight rush on the notes, while Donna must have been the one playing quietly with a slight hesitation.
Despite it all, they played well. The song was soothing and haunting at the same time. Leo had always thought that there was something eerie about the sound of the instruments.
It wasn’t long before Raph joined Leo on the steps to sit and listen. Since the girls were in the dojo, Raph couldn’t work out like he usually did at this time. Not a word was said between them, not even when Sliver had the girls stop to give them instructions. They simply sat in silence and listened.
Every so often, one of the girls would make a mistake, causing them to have to start over. A few sour notes were allowed to slide from time to time but overall it was harmonious. They were all well practice in their given instrument. Leo was almost jealous.
After a while the door to the dojo opened and Leah stepped out with her shakuhachi in hand. She looked at the pair sitting on the steps and Leo could swear that she almost blushed. “You were listening to us play?”
“Yep,” Raph answered.
Leo smiled. “There’s not much else to do down here and we don’t get to hear live music all that often.” His eyes then shifted to the instrument in Leah’s hand. “How do guys play instruments meant for people with ten fingers when you only have six?”
Leah held up her shakuhachi. “This only has four holes on top and one in the back. The instrument’s sound comes from air pressure as much as finger placement. The koto is played with picks on two fingers and the thumb of one hand while the other hand slides the bridges. So that works out for my sisters as well.”
“You guys sounded great,” Leo stated. “Maybe one day you can put on a proper concert for us.”
“Or private ones,” Michelle chimed in as she exited the dojo, giggling as she carried her koto. “Which do you prefer, Leo, the koto or the shakuhachi?”
“I like the sounds of both instruments,” Leo replied, not wanting to fall into her little trap.
The idea of a private ‘concert’, however, did sound nice. He could picture it in his head, Rachael practicing her shakuhachi while he meditated. Every once and awhile she would hit a sour note and quietly curse. But when she finally found her rhythm, the rich sounds of the wood instrument would aid him in his relaxation.
“What about you, Raph?” Michelle asked, drawing Leo from his fantasy.
Raph simply shrugged in response.
Michelle placed her koto on the ground and crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I’m taken and Rachael has said that you guys don’t want each other so that leaves Leah or Donna….” A sly smile spread across her face. “Which one do you want to give you a private concert?”
“Knock it off,” Rachael said flatly, heading out of the dojo and smacking Michelle on the back of the head. “Give the guy a break. Unlike you and Mikey the rest of us need some time to decide on who we want. We’re not gonna jump into this blindly. Raph and Leo probably haven’t made their decisions yet.”
“I was only teasing.” Michelle pouted, rubbing the back of her head. Then she added a little louder, “You didn’t have to hit me.”
“What have I said about hitting?” Slivers voice carried from the dojo.
Rachael winced and then glared at her sister for a moment before turning her head towards the dojo. “But…,” she started but was quickly cut off by her mother.
“In here now!”
Groaning, Rachael made her way back into the dojo. “I’m irritated because of the eggs and Michelle manages to make it worse any time she talks.”
“You’re sisters manage to control their anger during this time,” Sliver countered.
Raph chuckled, causing Rachael to shoot him a piercing glare before she entered the dojo. “Come on…,” her usually flat tone took on just a hint of a wine. “It wasn’t that hard. Just a little tap.”
Donna exited the dojo with her koto in hand and looked at Michelle. “Do you want me to check where Rachael hit you? We want to make sure there isn’t any major damage from that devastating blow.” The snarky tone in her soft voice took Leo by surprise. And, judging Raph’s reaction, he wasn’t expecting it either. His look of surprise quickly turned into a smile.
Donna looked like she was going to say more but Leo and Raph caught her eye. Donna looked over at them and her shyness took over once again. Cheeks flushed, her nerves silenced her.
Michelle, however, didn’t suffer from shyness. “What’s the matter, Donna? Suddenly at a loss for words? Do you have a crush on one of them?”
“That’s enough,” Leah warned Michelle and crossed her arms over her plastron. “That is, unless you want to find yourself in the dojo with Rachael.”
Michelle threw up her hands. “I’m done.”
“Good,” Leah said. “Now take your instruments back to your rooms then head back into the dojo. We are not done with our lessons.”
“Yes ma’am,” Michelle said sarcastically, heading back to the rooms.
When they were gone, Leah looked at Leo and Raph. “Sorry about that.”
Raph chuckled. “Do you think we’re any better? We pick on each other all the time. I’ve teased Leo once or twice about you guys.”
“This was a good sign that you ladies are getting comfortable with us,” Leo added.
“And we hit Mikey all the time for the things that comes out of his mouth,” Raph concluded.
“It’s still not something we should do in front of others.” A soft smile graced Leah’s face as she looked at Raph. “I wanted to thank you again. I know you went to a lot of trouble to get these for us.”
Only glancing at Leah, Raph shrugged. “It was worth it. You guys sounded great.”
“Leo’s right, we will have to play for you… guys… all of you…, to thank you properly.” Leah chuckled softly and looked down at her shakuhachi. “This really meant a lot to us.”
Raph nodded his head as he looked up at her. “A concert sounds nice.”
“We’ll arrange something then,” Leah said and then took her leave, waving at them both. “I have to put this away and get back to my lessons.”
“Later then.” Leo waited for her to be out of earshot before nudging Raph. “You don’t think she’s into you…, do you?”
Raph looked at his brother and lifted an eye ridge. “What makes you say that?”
“You don’t think she was maybe flirting a little?” Leo asked and then looked towards the dojo to make sure Rachael was nowhere around. He then leaned in close to Raph and whispered, “What if she’s like me and… you know… wants you?”
Raph shook his head. “No… She was just saying thanks for the instruments…. Nothing more…. They’re just not used to talking to someone outside their family.” He looked up in the direction of the bedrooms. “At least I hope.” He then looked at Leo, worry on his face. “If they are like us in who they want then, with the exception of Mikey and Michelle, we’re all fucked, and not in a good way.”
“That would mean Rachael would want Tello,” Leo stated, groaning slightly.
“Yeah,” Raph grunted, looking down at his hands. “And Donna is against the idea of being with me.”
Leo leaned back against the railing with a heavy sigh. These girls were both a blessing and a curse. Why couldn’t any of this be easy?
