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questions aren't commands

I don't get it. Why do so many people, when they hear a question, interpret it as being told what to do? Like Alice asks, "Why did you close the door in that Charlie's face, Bob?" then Bob thinks he hears "Bob, you shouldn't have closed the door in that guy's face." But what Alice really wanted was to know the reason Bob closed the door on Charlie, so Bob should have said, "I closed the door on Charlie's face because he offended me and I no longer wanted to continue listening to him."

Or Dave asks, "Emily, have you returned Fred's hedge clippers yet?" and Emily thinks she hears "Emily, return Fred's hedge clippers right now." So she gets defensive instead of just saying, "No, I haven't yet."
Viewed: 22 times
Added: 5 years, 6 months ago
5 years, 6 months ago
Because people don't really hear what you are saying but what they think you are saying.
5 years, 6 months ago
Usually it has to do with the tone, or prior experiences. Sometimes when someone asks a question it IS a rhetorical question and they are just asking it to state their displeasure about what someone has/n't done.

If you live with people who often ask those rhetorical critical questions, it can often seep accidentally into assuming the same of others non-rhetorical questions.
5 years, 5 months ago
Some people don't understand that rhetorical questions doesn't work in written text, because there isn't a tone and/or face expression of the writer. So the reader could only interpreter the message in the wrong way.

So IRL rhetorical questions are ok, but not on the internet.
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