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The whole in crowd thing seems a bit immature for someone at age 20

Really? Come on people....is there really an In crowd when it comes to this fanbase? An old......uhh....friend of mine seems to be good friends with people/artists I admire. He claims to be in the in crowd when it comes to cons, which just sounds so......immature. To add insult to injury seems to refuse to make introductions (Which I think isn't that much to ask for). And if by some off chance there IS an in crowd, why can't everyone just get along?

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Added:	14 years, 8 months ago 27 Apr 2011 14:10 CEST

7 Comments on this Journal

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MaverickSkye

14 years, 8 months ago

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Sense of self-entitlement, simple as that. People don't like the thought of equality. They like knowing that they have something more or better than someone else even if its in their own head. They don't want to share any of that popularity or glory or anything, so this is how they want to act about it. It only seems immature, simply because it is.

Bluewag

14 years, 8 months ago

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The only people who are really worth your time are the people to whom popularity doesn't matter anyway.

LupineAssassin

14 years, 4 months ago

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@ Bluewag

I agree.

Wolfie

14 years, 8 months ago

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Is this "friend" one of those hipster types I hear so much about? :P

FLUFFYPUNK

14 years, 8 months ago

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@ Wolfie

He's the epitome of it :P

Wolfblade

14 years, 8 months ago

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Edited 14 years, 8 months ago by Owner

I'd slightly disagree with Mavvy about the point on equality (nothing against Maverick, though). I think "equality" as most people seem to think it means just isn't really there. One person is always going to be different than the next person in some sense.

Popularity isn't always just petty childishness. We have all known someone that was just less fun to be around than, say, this other friend who "gets me" more than the average person, for example. There are certain behaviors, attitudes, mannerisms, etc, that are generally seen as desirable and good. Most people will tend to find others more appealing who have these traits in abundance compared to those who have them in lower supply. These people will tend to be popular, while people lacking these traits will find themselves less popular.

Yes, people who can do things that not everyone can do will have that as a path to popularity separate from their actual personality. Artists, actors, musicians, etc. But you still see people who become popular without any of that. There are PLENTY of people who are recognizable in this fandom without any artistic ability of their own. Most of them due to having these positive and desirable personality traits.

People who lack desirable personality traits or social skills tend to be the ones most bitter about "popularity" because they consistently find it to be unattainable for them. No matter what they do, they can't seem to build social networks beyond a handful of other people, often others who share their bitterness against "the in crowd." While the people who do build networks of friends tend to be accused of being elitist and clique-ish, etc; when the reality is simply that people naturally want to associate with others of a similar wavelength, and not everyone is going to be on the same wavelength. There might be no particular reason at all why person A doesn't seek out association with person B beyond the fact that they simply don't "click."

People who find themselves part of "the in crowd" but are insecure or overly uncertain about their position there, are usually the ones that are the type you're talking about, Fluff. They feel a need to reaffirm their social status by reminding people of the associations they've made with "the cool kids," but are hesitant to try and introduce anyone else into those circles for fear of being rejected alongside whoever they tried to introduce if "the cool kids" don't think their other friend is "cool enough."

This is very High School and juvenile, yes. And there are some cliques and social circles that operate this way. But that's not really how most "in crowd" groups function.

If a person meets someone of a like mind, they find enjoyment in each others' company, become friends, and over time build a group of other friends on that same wavelength, this is normal and natural and not in any way something that should be dismissed as some evil social private club built for intentionally excluding people. But if someone tries to hang out with the group, and isn't on the same wavelength, doesn't appreciate the same types of entertainment and humor, generally disrupts the "vibe" when the others get together to have fun - it's not elitism if they don't get invited to every gathering. It's simply one of those ways in which we are NOT all equal and are in fact very very different. Not everyone fits with everyone else, even if they'd really like to. People shouldn't try to force themselves into a group where they disrupt the general group dynamic. They should seek out people on their own wavelength. And not be so bitter and jealous and stuck on the people who >didn't< click with them.

Flynn's got the right idea. If "popularity" is something a person is overly concerned with - and this goes for people who are NOT popular as much as those who are - then they're usually just not a fun person to be around, and there's plenty of more worthwhile people to spend your time on. :3

LupineAssassin

14 years, 4 months ago

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Edited 14 years, 4 months ago by Owner

I may be "popular" per se, but I don't let it go to my head. I've come a long way, and more furs are starting to see that. The fact that some furs continue to have me blocked (including

Wolfblade

) shows how narrow-minded and shallow some people can be.

I joined the fandom strictly out of curiosity. Discovering the furry fandom had to be the best decision I ever made, considering. Along the way, I became educated in how some people carry themselves. When in doubt, I always seek advice and think things over for myself. No room to make any rash decisions, especially now.

Joining Inkbunny was another decision I was happy to make. It's a pleasant and safer alternative to 'that other place.' I'm humbled and overwhelmed so many furs across the globe are familiar with me in some way. As popular as I am now, I will stay true to myself. ^^

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