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ibengmainee

So, apparently I'm a bigot.

That's right, I'm a bigot because I like and prefer petite girls.

No, not in a pedophile way. I mean, I just don't find overweight women attractive.

I have overweight friends so it's not like I sit here and go, "Well you're a fat fuck. I'm too good for you."

But when it comes to a relationship, I'm sorry, I can't change who I am and what I find attractive. I lead a very active lifestyle. Working as a personal trainer and practically living at a gym does that to people. All of my girlfriends were fit, petite women.

So I've been called an asshole, bigot and discriminatory because I told a friend of mine that I wasn't attracted to her. When she asked why, I simply said, "You're... just not my body type." What am I supposed to do? I tried to say it in as nice of a way as I could on the spot.

Well, now she doesn't want to be my friend anymore because she was attracted to me, confessed that she liked me and wanted things to blossom and I declined her. *shrugs*

I don't know it just baffles me. I deal with larger people ALL THE TIME at work and some of them I've become good friends with. But because I can't force myself to become sexually attracted to you, I'm the asshole?

There's more than just attraction to it. How could we be compatible? There's more to relationships than physical attraction.

"Honey! Let's go on a hiking trip this weekend."
"Oh I don't know... That sounds nice but I don't know if my knees could handle that."

"Are you heading to the gym?"
"Yup! Did you want to go?"
"Umm... I can't today, I have to clean the kitchen."
"Well, if you join me I'll help you clean the kitchen when we get back."
"Oh... Well..."
"... You know, you keep saying that you want to go to the gym with me and you were doing well at first but now you never seem to want to go."
"No, I know. I just haven't been feeling it lately."
"Come on, it's not that bad. You keep talking about how you want to fit in those clothes from Express. I help you get there. I'll be more than happy to help you out."
"... *looks away embarrassed*"
"*long pause* Alright then, well I'll be back in about an hour-and-a-half."
"*now feels like crap*"
"*Knows he's gonna have to talk to her when he gets home to make her feel better.*"


I can go on, and you can call me a jerk all you want...

But you can't tell me this doesn't happen.
Viewed: 51 times
Added: 10 years, 9 months ago
 
cheetahjab
10 years, 9 months ago
Meh.. Live with it an move on. We all have our preferences. If they hold it against you, they wouldn't have been good for you anyway.
Zeikcied
10 years, 9 months ago
No one can change what they're attracted to, be it gender, age, or body type.  To call someone a bigot for what they are and aren't attracted to is just stupid.
EtherSaga
10 years, 9 months ago
Hmm... sounds kinda familiar...
ibengmainee
10 years, 9 months ago
I see I'm not going to live that down.
EtherSaga
10 years, 9 months ago
Oh no, totally forgot about it. Just curious if it was the same person.
ibengmainee
10 years, 9 months ago
This was about something that happened earlier today. So no...
EtherSaga
10 years, 9 months ago
No worries either way, mate. It's not my problem anymore.
IzzySable
10 years, 9 months ago
If a person wants to end their friendship with you because you don't want a romantic relationship with them, they probably weren't that good a friend to begin with.  And angry people say hurtful things.  I'd ignore it and move on.
RhymeFur
10 years, 9 months ago
Physical attraction is a pretty big deal in a relationship you're expected to have sex in, it's not the end all be all, but it's right up there along with 'doesn't want to stab partner in the neck'.
MaverickSkye
10 years, 9 months ago
I also think that it was the execution of the rejection as well. To a girl, that is some super sensitive topic, and saying not the right 'body' type can be hurtful as SHIT to them. Part of me believes it wasn't in the fact that you rejected her but that you had said body type, since well, likely that's what's gonna be on her mind, and granted, even if it isn't your thing, it is possible she'd look at you as shallow for saying it that way. Even if it's your type, again, it was just the way that it was said, although I do understand your point of view as well, I can also see why she'd be hurt by it. When you look at it from a emotional standpoint instead of a logical one.
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