Except I don't know how to behave.
So, for those of you that don't follow me on Twitter, Abbey and I have parted ways after a good 26 months. It was a good run, and I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world. I enjoyed every moment we spent together, and I'm quite saddened that those moments won't continue to be. Maybe I was thinking too far ahead, but I envisioned us staying close, getting our own place, growing old together, all that sappy stuff. I suppose it just wasn't meant to be.
I'm not gonna go too much into specific details, as the conversation that led up to this really should remain between myself and Abbey. Suffice to say, though, that this wasn't a breakup on bad terms. As time passed, it started to become more clear that we didn't mesh as well as was initially thought. There was a lot of magic at first that helped to build a solid relationship, but there's not enough between us to really complement each other and keep it sustained.
It may have been a lot my fault, but that's impossible to say for sure. The attachment was quite imbalanced in my favor. I'm sure there are some things that I missed, some signs I failed to pick up on, but whether things would've continued had I been more attentive can't really be said by either of us.
Moving forward, I don't know if I'll try again. Most of my relationship attempts have ended this way, with me on the receiving end of a breakup conversation. I've gotten better about not jumping on attachments so quickly, and I feel like I'm making good decisions on who to pursue. What I question is whether I'm actually good relationship material. I have a critical fault in not being good at driving conversations, nor am I good at stating what I want.
People, furries, anyone, treasure your loved ones. Make that most special person in your life really feel your presence; show them how much you really care. If your relationship is missing something, find out what it is and do your best to fill that gap. Talk to your partner(s), ask them how they're doing. Make every little thing count.
Abbey, if you do read this, I just want you to be happy with your life, even if it doesn't involve me being so close to you. The time we spent together meant everything to me, and you were the most special thing in the world, even if I wasn't good at showing it. I would very much like to hear from you again someday, but I don't want there to be any pressure. Take your time, gather yourself, and I'll still be here should you want a goofy fox around.
Thank you all for reading.
5 years, 6 months ago
13 May 2013 01:44 CEST