Time tends to be a bit of a screwball for me, where things from even one year ago can appear as ancient. Maybe it's not exclusive to me, or maybe looking back at how I used to think in my perspective is similar to us humans in the modern day looking back to when we blood let patients as a common medicinal practice and admiring how much has changed since then. Maybe it's the fact that so much has changed since August 15, 2011 that looking back to the time before that makes me see everything that was me so simple and primitive by comparison.
Before August, I was still living in Eastvale, my sister was still a distant echo of a shadow that I had long since believed was a figment of my imagination, I never had a girlfriend, Stevie was still alive, Gracie wasn't even conceived yet, and I didn't know about people's relationship with Rita. My initial idea for Yu Yu Hakusho: Successor was just starting to take a tangible form, before the whole plan for Isaac, the Sovereign Society and BT took their shape. My Steam library was much more limited, I anticipated Mass Effect 3 with such giddiness, and Portal 2 was the biggest thing in town since spliced bread.
Moving out here to Lake Elsinore was like the catalyst for all these changes. We hit a singularity point during the transition and so many changes hit us one after the other that looking back on comments and private messages made even a month before the big move feels like it's from a century ago! I remember a time when these walls were alien to me, when nothing adorned this room except for cardboard boxes over encumbered with books, and I sat in here, in the dark (because there were no lights plugged in), knowing that this was going to be my new home, and laying in bed in Eastvale on August 14, 2011, that an old saga was ending and a new one was beginning.
I remember all that, yet it all seems so distant, that one month of transition may as well have been ten thousand years. Maybe it's unique for me. I know that when left to my own devices, my brain will recede into itself and think. And think. And think for hours, doing more brain work than most people would want to think about. Give it a topic, and I could be petting the dog, working on a piece of art or writing, or playing League of Legends, and that topic will echo throughout my head for HOURS. You could be talking to me in real time, face to face. My brain might have taken a step out before you even saw me that day. As a result, my perspective of time is a wildcard, and after these long sessions of wandering through my thoughts, I feel like more time has passed than what actually has.
And now, after staring at this topic for nearly an hour now, trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to say, I feel like, again, I've been staring at this conversation for much longer than I really was. Maybe the point I'm getting to is an extension of The Progress of Diligence, that a lot more has changed about me in two years than I originally thought. Whatever the case may be, I find it a bit funny that as far as I'm aware, I'm the oddball in the legions of furs, not truly a furry, myself, and much more structured and contemplative than my more random and impulsive surprise buttsex peers. Maybe that's what attracts my fans?
5 years, 5 months ago
02 May 2013 15:28 CEST