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GrayscaleRain

No Stream Tonight and General Mopiness.

Due to a large amount of schoolwork due tomorrow & a throat anatomy quiz that I have to study for, there will be no stream tonight.  I'll do my best to schedule it in for tomorrow or Wednesday, but if I can't, I'll have the stream on Friday as per usual.


Shadesfox, I'll work on your commission Friday in stream.  If I don't get it done, I'll keep on working on it, but we will get things moving.

Derby Runner, your stuff will be done by Friday, no worries.  Though I might have to ask you for the information again.  I'll look for it when I'm not mulling over school crap.

I thank you all for your patience and understanding!  I do appreciate it.  I've been finding it hard to concentrate and I've been a bit ill lately.  My teeth have been bothering me and I've had a lack of energy.  Been kind of mopey, you know those feelings.

It's not a big deal, of course.  I'll get over it.  I'm just a little behind schedule on my commissions, is all.  I am rather appreciative of those of you who are willing to wait and have patience with me.  To those of you with specified deadlines (the Valentine's pics, mostly), I will pull through.  Don't worry.   I'm still learning how to 'work' when it comes to art, so I have stumbling blocks now and again.

Still, business is good so far and I appreciate that more than anything.  I'm happy that you all enjoy my work.

I'm going back and forth between doing a comic and working on a game.  I have ideas for both, but it's hard getting started because I only vaguely know about comic making and I barely know anything about game making.  But they're both things I want to do.

I think the comic could make a bit of money and it seems like something fun to do.  I think people with similar tastes to my own would enjoy it quite a bit.  The game is something I've wanted to do for a long time.  I really want to bring to life the trials of one of my characters, uncensored and unadulterated, and I think that's the best way to do it.  It would be a more traditional adventure game but I don't know how to program it or what sort of programs or engines I would even start out with.  I've gotten a few things together but only time will tell.  I might end up doing it in HTML.  We'll see what happens.

I'm just kind of terrified to start anything, for fear of doing it badly.  But if I don't, then it'll never get done.  And of course, there's the time I'm obligated to the rest of you, which I don't take lightly in the least.  I owe you what you've paid, and then some, and that's a big responsibility!

These are just the kind of things I mull over when I'm sick.  I feel weak and impotent, and I don't feel that I have the strength of will to succeed.  It creeps into everything.  My school work, my art, my everyday activities.

What's worse is I know better.  But it's still paralyzing.

But I'll be okay.  I'm always okay.   I just need to get over it.  And I will, sooner or later.
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Added: 5 years, 9 months ago
 
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