I think I've experienced my first major case of lustful angst.
I was at the cinema today and prior to the film starting, a guy in a sleeveless top (which struck me as utterly inappropriate given how cold it was outside) sat down several rows in front of me. Once the film had ended I was able to get a good enough look at him, and despite the tattoos and odd choice of a band with what looked like pearls circumventing one arm, I could barely take my eyes off of his beautiful deltoids, biceps and triceps... here I was, utterly drawn to him and I knew full well I couldn't show any appreciation for his natural prowess.
It was positively painful, and I'm not sure how to digest the experience.
It's only been about a month or so since I came to terms with the fact I'm probably gay, and that I felt the courage to even tell one of my closest friends, as well as some of my family of my likely preference.
It makes me wish to an extent that I had a friend who had already traveled this road I'm embarking down, so that there'd be someone I could get advice from.
So here I am, writing an extremely angsty journal... and the film I saw? The Adjustment Bureau. An excellent film, with some pretty neat chase sequences.
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13 years, 1 month ago
09 Mar 2011 01:16 CET
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