So, I got my bolster cut, packing and catheter out, and did my first dilation yesterday. And my life has already radically changed. I had gotten used to the routine, the bad sleep, emptying the bag, etc. and now I have a completely new routine and so much more mobility. What’s more, I had 3 amazing things happen all at once when I had all my packing removed and my dilations start:
1) They started me on the blue dilator (the second size up) right out the gate and said I took it like a champ, 20/10. I took it beyond 5, the deepest marker; I’m about 6-7 inches deep I assume, and they think I will be at orange (the largest) within a few weeks. They joked that I’m a natural size queen!
2) I had my intersex condition confirmed. In my itemized surgery bill, they have “clitoroplasty with intersex condition,” and when asked, I was told I was right in having a duplicated urethra which had somehow been mis-diagnosed as a hypospadias as a child. I am intersex, and I am proud! I knew before, but now I have medical proof, proof that was either not given or was covered up in the red state I was born in.
3) I actually got a doctor to approve me wearing diapers 24/7 for recovery. Mind you, this is only for bloodflow, not for bathroom use. But I explained how the pads were sticking to me when the blood would dry, how my stitches would overbleed beyond my gusset into my outerwear, and asked about breathable cloth-back diapers, changed every bathroom visit to allow skin to breathe and no buildup of too much blood/bacteria, and leak guards since I am a side sleeper. Basically, period diapers, but for my healing vaginoplasty. And the doctor agreed it sounded like a fantastic idea. I have wanted to try 24/7 since before I moved out, but was always too scared or had some reason to talk myself out of it. Now that I’ve been in nothing but diapers for two days, sleeping and dilating on pee pads, I’ve already adjusted, and given I’m moving to New York where public bathrooms are sparse, I’d already planned on going padded once I recovered and moved. And holy crap, I’m living the dream.
I’m proudly wearing my intersex pride pendant I made for myself, sitting in a diaper with the biggest, stupidest grin on my face. I actually got a team of doctors to approve this. I am a woman. I am concurrent with my body for the first time in my life. I have gender euphoria and trans joy. I am proudly intersex. And I am padded.
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2 months, 3 weeks ago
13 Feb 2026 01:35 CET
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