So hey there,
Fuck, i feel so guilty about being here,
at the same time the reminder a few folks i won't see again hurts me,
in short,
My father developed a heart issue, and had to have a triple stent fitted, twice..... as the first never worked,
he's been getting more and more feeble, and then he got a Prostate tumour, its been a while of consultants and then Chemo and we are now in the " find out " phase...
I look at the man who raised me, and i cant help but look 5 years ahead and see him not there, and that put me into a fairly major midlife crisis,
*edit* and My ferrets died last year, in October, but as things stand i wont be getting any more, for the foreseeable future at least (had ferrets for 30 odd years now ) , and it hurts the most not having that unconditional love waiting for you when you get home..
Im trying to pick up the pieces, when my (to be) mother in law starts showing early signs of dementia, or Alzheimer’s disease , or senility. we cant get a grasp on what it is yet, but she's been acting pretty weird at times,
I have been in a new job, the last 3 years, starting as a dogsbody workshop person, and now im a design engineer, i wish i found it 25 years ago when i had the energy to keep up, but its better than i have had in the past.
so yeah, F_it.... I m doing some drawing.... for me.. fuck the government, Adult website bans, VpN Id requirements, Im going to just draw adult shit....
SO this is a call to please leave a comment if you are still active, or still want to deal with me, No doubt i owe some stuff somewhere, so hopefully i can keep up the momentum somewhat.
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4 months ago
16 Dec 2025 01:41 CET
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