I decided to go back to Anasgael rather than trying to be Lilith of any kind anymore.
My reasoning is that, while I've made out to be all fine and good so far as what you all are aware, my health has been deteriorating. While some of it surely is caused by my shitty chair that I use, the fact is that a lot of it is also spiritual in nature.
Basically, a long-ass time ago (as in thousands of years ago), I opposed the wrong people, and they cursed me. I am still very much Lilith, and from what I can gather, I am the Lilith, no one else. That said, my name carries with it a lot of pain, both physical, mental, and spiritual. I've already got a shitload of physical pain without the crap added by the name, so I'm going back to a name I know is more beneficial to me.
In case you're wondering how I came to this conclusion, I tried going by Anasgael and also by Lilith at home, and I noticed more pain as Lilith and less as Ana. It's not only been suggested by spirit guides, but also is something I've considered on my own, that "Lilith" isn't a name I would have chosen for myself. Oh, sure, I love to talk about how "practical" I am, but the truth is "Lilith" doesn't fit, and it never has. Similar to Inanna, which I went by in the past, it's a name that I would never actually choose to use.
Then there's the synchronicity, and there is a lot of that going around. My given name, Sean, means "God is Gracious." In a long-time-past previous life, I was named Anashai'El, which means "Favored Grace the Gift of God." The name Anasgael means "My Kinsman-Redeemer is Gracious." So there is that commonality in the meanings of both Graciousness and the Divine. Plus, there is that "An" sound in all of those names.
Even Inanna, when re-spelled to Ina'ana, means "Healing and Favored Grace," and is in the same language as the other names (Seraphic, on which Hebrew is based).
There is another reason for changing my name, and it very well could be directly connected to the pain I mentioned above. In ancient times, a person's energies often necessitated a change in their name. In one particular case, the survivors of the sacking of Troy had to renounce their identity as Trojans in order for Aphrodite to stop trying to kill them.
I will continue to draw my scalesona the same as I've always done, though I may add pubic hair at some point. I will, however, be replacing images with the Lilith signature with unsigned ones shortly. And I will be signing my name as "Ana" from now on in my journals.
~Ana
EDIT:
Other changes I'll be making include the removal of Arnasah as a character, as well as art of her. She never really made much sense the way I describe her. In fact, originally she was a wise and old dragoness, green in color, not the creamy white I turned her into more recently. And she was certainly not the ditzy one I made her into, either. If anyone here is ditzy, it's me, not her. Making her all that did her a disservice, so I'm removing her art and her character for the time being. Maybe later I'll add a proper version of Arnasah as I originally envisioned her.
The other change is going to be the re-addition of Manasgael to my characters. She's been with me since her name popped into my head way back in 1998. While her overall appearance has changed somewhat, she is essentially the same person she was back then, even down to some of the original backstory. Also, her personality is essentially the same as it was back then. She has also been my spirit guide for a long time, even coming back once the Entity was out of the picture.
