I been going through a lot of stress, especially this month.
A lot of it I don't show because I'm constantly putting on a front that nothing is wrong when a lot is.
A lot of this stress is also self inflicted on my part due to me miscalculating issues and things.
To be fair, I have a few things I need to pay off. A lot of debts too.
I have the obvious of rent and internet coming up.
I have to feed myself.
I have to pay back what I owe to cash app. (self inflicted)
I have to pay back a commission refund.
To say it's a lot will be a understatement.
I said countless times before I don't like asking for help.
Its something that urks at me and just causes more stress.
I'd like to be able to handle everything entirely myself, but it seems like things don't work that way out.
I also feel like I am exhausting the help the help I do get and just making others annoyed by the constant.
But, currently I need more help than ever before.
A big issue this month is that commissions have dryed up. Sense i been sign posting it before, I have received only a few new requests. I often feel annoying to keep asking for help on that front, but I don't know any other ways to advertise things. The new requests I have received have been on a pay later notice. I have to wait to be paid which isn't the fault of the commissioners, just how it seems to be.
So as such, currently I have received zero revenue.
So if you think that maybe I've gotten help the last time I asked, I haven't really yet.
I'm at my wits end. I am currently getting commissions done, but that doesn't seem to help much either. I thought maybe the work finished would open things up more, but it hasn't. I also been very slow on that front as well. Mostly my fault there. This month has been a dry spell for art, and i been feeling a bit demotivated.
I don't know what I'm doing with a journal like this only to make people understand what's been going on. I just hope I haven't been upsetting people a lot with this stuff. Sorry I can't quite get into a stable situation yet.
Currently I'm setting time aside this week to work on adoptables sense those seem to sale well, so I'll try to put a ton of effort into them.
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4 days, 20 hrs ago
20 Nov 2025 19:51 CET
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