This keeps popping into my gizzard brain through the last months so apearantly I have to make it a thing xD
as always this journal is its own species because I went over it ten times and worked way more on it than I wanted >.<
I think I have found the perfect example of what ambiversion is tho I completely lack any thought or intuition what that could be good for. But its cool I think =p [edit: there is a bit - gist clear, application drafty]
When star trek captains are doing this thing where they are kinda fluidly preframing things and pulling the unkown into the known (to stretch my rhetorics bc I really dont care for diaries anymore, yarrrr) translating a confrontation into opportunity... you know? When they are kinda half-monologuing, taking some virtual space or people`s time confidently, just being themselves when some form of situational initiation wants to be brought to some preliminary conclusion, to have something to work with, to create a basis to deal whatever new sit came up. But with with Star Trek standards!
(My current hope is that could be broken down with third loop learning, the stepping from 1,2,3-loop is like coping->catharsis->transcendence But I didnt break transcendence down to post-it bite sized yet. something with humor as operational positivity, wonder as an unconditionally loved child that can "freely" explore the interaction between the world and its own desires to get a feel for that whole love triangle, curiosity as the absence of arrogance/zynicism, questioning everything other than doubting everything - but all of that doesnt concisely translate to transcendence at all, to me at least, yet. you -can- feel it tho. bah. )
back to ambiversion:
(so much for keeping it short, I swear, it didnt flow the last months and now Im getting this familiar annoyance again that my keyboard is WAY too slow for my mind rofl I completey forgot about that). ambiversion: putting the inner monologue -out- ! putting out if you will |) but that is kinda the whole point isnt it? not relying on passion too much. Toying with allowing it just right to access senses and intentions.
...................................... ui.
actor/observer? pepp? yarrr.
nonono I didnt wanna analyze it that straight forwardly.
its more a feeling to me because I never really understood "ideals" , I think because I trace things to its core so much more than others. I really dont wanna make this too conscious. The presence is professional AND whimsy, all philosophies are high fiving and eye winking, including the pro and the inner child.
I mean, its the entrepreneurial result of a healthy attitude yeah? I just recently went into additude better late than never xD This whole healthy boundaries thing really screams at you to get uncreative at all fronts without some inner pokemon :/ which is what "people" /not individuals/persons) teeter off towards. which is why AI does that ! [ the word AI vanished |) I still think thats unfounded lack of confidence! ]
it also usually starts with them walking away a couple steps and getting a little more meditative/whimsy about recapitulating something. My point is to have a consciousness of that mentality, like "seeing" my captain, really [getting] what the other one with much more power than me is on about. sharing the real time absorption, collaboratively doing the "I see you" thing with the "I/you/it". I guess it sure does rely on some homework made at this point. Probably a bit self referential, and hence a long winded justification for the whole entire "no adventures without propper prepping" trope in short and long term. But a more gritty one could be "you cant grasp what you dont confront". (okay thats preachy but ahhhh getting there getting there.) Maybe that helps a lot with my histrionics thingy, bc thats definately the blind eye of those who dont play well. Frankly everybody has to stop what they are doing and watch the "dont feed the troll" episode from wander over yonder thrice. I dont even care anymore, this isnt even a "everybody should read that book in school" or something. This is like social breathing and everything else is ... ... *breaths* anyway!
[edit: ................ you know, if you are being masochistic in public (thats more limmerence tho ;3 Im pretty sure that actually how folks rile themselves up too!), I found that seems to be the best way to minimize even any ever-so-remote notion of after care out of your life. It might be a bit obnoxious/blazee/harsh to dish that in just like that but this whole journal is so not even half-finished but makes still so many points that in my xp it will age just right with the right filter later.]
histrionic btw seems to be the persecutor in the drama triangle - AaAND that straw man with a extremely true spark of truth of "the angry white man"! thats so simple that slapped me too. lesson number one: healthy narcissism exists! People are just too lazy too take their space, to ambivert! thats not even boundaries I think, value-wise. More like vibing for productivity (in the zone instead of flow?) not walking away at all! [edit: but as we all know by now procrast is a terminal lack of aftercare but I cant quite twiddle that apart from an ambiverting role model, which I think is often sorta meant with "male role model" in the gentler moments of deciciveness because if that child is super perceptive yea, you just have to be shown, but nor run ragged eventually you still need your little huge talks lieing in the night grass looking at the stars and talking about how the small small relates to the bigbig, like talking about that process-friend who just happens to not be there rn bc its just the other person and you (the guy with more power: father, mentor, friend with some insight, whatever: its about insights anyway right? the connected smallsmall and keeping it efficient/effective/economic/nimble) You just cant propperly explain that without images. It couldnt live. Youd have to hammer it down tediously, like our schools. You -will- loose the plot. btw I think the winner triangle works a bit better than the empowerment triangle. its a bit calmer without binding too "professionalism" too much I believe. Just a little post-it idea.
other examples of that ambiverting image:
the "unconditional love" approach to parents explaining something to children would be kinda the same (mentality wise, not pressure wise - obviously parents get much more readily to the core of things than:) like a friend pulling you aside to sit you down and like, just tell you to listen up so they can learn you what the BIOS of a PC is step by step so they only have to explain it once, or the way people show each other moves, with this focussed casuality (presence), or in stargate essentially every meaningful talk with a bit of time pressure (think face/bodylanguage/pacing). Just the first things that come to my mind, its really everywhere, because It would be kinda unrealistic for extroverts or introverts to not be at least a bit of the other if one thinks about it for a second. Those two are practical simplifications. Its an interesting thought tho what these examples and the image Im wrestling with here means for people who actually cant access it because they thwap into one of the poles so much. Could it seduce to idealize? Could it become an all out language problem? Are images a useful way to think about inner monologue? That last one might be the best take to make people learn about metaphors to absolutely streamline explaining whatever ever. I always felt people are near terminally intimidated about that (tho probably a bit less the last years). Could this help to twiddle a bit with that phrase that once you opened your third eyes (=mind=west =p) "you cant close it anymore", allegedly, like, once youre on the path, you cant leave the path! (I found that so blatantly uninspired, like, a racing freak not getting anything out of visiting a formula 1 as if it has nothing to do with each other.) After all everybody knows blinking(attitude?) and sleeping(lifestyle/practice?) doesnt exist at all ever anywhere =p plus, I guess, if youd really like to talk about extreme/intense situations, we have an endless supply of increasingly dynamic stories about how you play andor deal with dynamics (power relations). How to improsive aftercare and unlazy yourself if you really have to despite not having grown into it yet (cant remember whether I mentioned "lazy"/procrastinationing before or after here]
another example is in movies when the big role-model hero climaxes something fantastic and the mesmerized girl just stands there spirited away dead centre into the moment with clasped hands in front of her and maybe a slightly open mouth with dreamy eyes and its just the most intense version of somebody rooting for another xD probably the least extroverted example I could think of tho. Hm. What could be the most extroverted then ...... : well, any loud exclamation I guess? (so ambiverting is what speaks (truth) louder than yells, and nothing is more real than a well timed (paced?) victory shout/scream but in non nature-overcoming situations its probably more civilized to do it pipsqueaky to stick with that I/you/it process and dont overmpower, so to speak. )
maybe the sweet spot between those is if you dont wait for somebody to grab your hand but just swoop them up and go do a thing! sneak away or something. and take turns! Scrubs with JD/Turk comes to mind. Being a Sherlock for fresh wind bits sneaked -in- ! I wanna coin that on the four elements but that classical paper frog that jumps at you when you leave it on somebodies desk is probably a better example. And then there are the crude versions of all of that xD those seem more adhd friendly for better or worse :x
Also it sounds like "adulting" or stuff like that. feels nimble.
OH I dont know. maybe its my next step in my debrattification.
in any case, about additude: this definately was a huge hole in my life whenever my enthusiastic perspective was bully-zilched with implications, as it goes. I have to think of the end of evangelion 4 ("3+1" or so =p). Absolute lovehate. for long I either had a defense mechanism against defense mechanism or nothing. So this is like, "nonreaction" but not as thing, but an antithing xD or no an antithing is still a thing =p nonthing. nonthing. (carries right into Wander`s dont feed the troll episode =p) not focus, but simply not getting distracted (by too much empathy? maso/limmerence), just because Im in the middle of something very substantial and if somebody has a problem with that I both can and should deal with that later (if just two moments later) because
1. Im literally in the middle of something natural (natural as in primary source, interacting with the world, using your senses primarily, not secondarily ("that process" from the start up there)) and if the problem doesnt solve itself, which it often does, it -cant- be as natural/substantial as what I just did. It -has- to be just a bit less natural. Also I finished an opportunity, which, if nothing else, is its own point to justify xD and yea, they say you dont have to justify yourself, but isnt that the definition of irresponsible? It shows you know what youre doing, and not being able to say/think that never helps. terminology. intuition is a sense too and its a great mnemo technique and even more if its connected to images (admittedly it gets increasingly artsy then. not for everyone)
2. you can explain yourself so much better to translate enthusiasm calmly because, you just having finished it, serves as a brain dump so if that connects with that spark you had, well, both together is pretty much the spark of meaning. (eyup xD) off course that doesnt at all stop you from accidents xD a degree of chill requires a degree of play, which requires a degree of both mistakes (educated guesses?) & absence through training (like actually thinking 'to' yourself for a sec(taking time)). The following aint the right words sir, but the stance seems to be "there is some fiction to your truth, and some truth to your fiction" and Im not saying its effortless, but people love nothing more than being shown that you are interested in them THAT unwaveringly much. I need to tune in with somebody after a while or its terrible and to say the least the multiculti is real but it makes me just love it when that goes for people above me in something. In any case for every delay there is some friction bc you have to restart/refocus in SOME way (generally I mean). Even if some small criticism is vaguelly justified, "disregarding" it for only the one/two moments to finish your thing safes SO many ressources and that helps everybody. Exycept people truelly trained to cement their perspective, then "training & accidents still can happen" goes right the other way. My point is to not say "please let me finish" but to allow yourself the royalty of the confidence that unfinished thoughts are just the worst. empowerment is dangerous, but so is a cognitive shatter. It literally doesnt have to be justified because ambiverting "finishing a thought" usually produces that justification solidly. I sometimes wonder if thats the only thing stories really wanna teach us x)
3. if you have a bit of ease with 1.-2. offendedness can be tackled sort of easy, the more the angrier the other one is, too, I think. which has a suprisingly good chance of actually making this obstacle into an opportunity all by itself because you can be your own critique so much more playfully, and -in your critic`s stead!- of all things. (using the bizar to connect - entrepreneurial wisdom still falls under show dont tell IM AFRAID =p but kinda not anymore - pokemasters are fantastic with that) /so they just feel SO much more understood and regarded, and thats how you get the inner child almost right out of somebody. Maybe thats what that boundary stuff works for, because like this, youll need moments for your self absolutely no doubt. That has to be a fluid language for yourself then, or your trolling yourself (Wander over yonder) I perceive that as somewhat a "healthy inner unicorn factor" which is kinda that gentle hand reaching-out thing. comes of as very enfp, the so called most introverted extrovert xD which probably always eventually leads to "hold your horses" moments especially for esfj/esfp about enthusiasm but estj/estp for intensity and isfp for subletly and MAYBE istp for all of that.
I believe 1.-3. could help with grey humor a lot. maybe pacing.
initial draft went super low on my intj xD die hard habbit = wordy
words dont collect images.
Now If I had the money to print a poster of Trump`s O-face (you know that one that gets even more hilarious if you see it at the edge of stashed newspapers xD ) with Picard`s frown on top xD thats just empowering (bratty?) at best tho. Deffy not ambiverting ! (see what I did there? criticizing myself after I swung the bat but it didnt quite fly right? Prolly because I overanimated? Everything is open again (... balance achieved? not my pay grade =p) )
this whole ahab thing definately comes with histrionics . . . .
attachment = contrary of boundaries.
an example after the talos principle sequel : "calibrating..." xD elohim is a good boi *confused hair emoticon* :/
thats why I want more animals in the city (without them getting run over - fcol that would be such a fantastic initiative to build bridges xD)
actually.
I think the pro/whimsy approach to ambiverting biasses a bit towards introversion and isnt quite as perfect after all. But a good mirror example feels like extroverts adopting/supporting introverts. (like entrepreneurs, and youtubers xD) Now if I could blend the latter with "sophistication" (Since I learned that word from picard more or less for Star Trek ideals) bridge building was never that easy, only the focus is the problem because cities lack anim/ation =p mentality. headspace as routine has to be a tool instead of a fate to not cristalyze as id - and I hope ambiverting is the most concise approach I found yet for quick decisions there. the xloop thing makes my lid fly off because it stretches over so much but bridges are built by the triangles, so to speak, either way.
maybe additude is patience for enfjs(me so far) ?
