This year has been, for lack of a better way of putting it, a rollercoaster. As such I have been thinking more about just what life has been like as of late and I am realizing a few things. Or perhaps less realizing and just not deluding myself about certain aspects.
I am not happy with my life. I feel angry a lot of the time when I’m at work. I’m consistently depressed when I’m home. A lot of the people I try to befriend are shallow and/or toxic.
Those are some of the bigger issues I notice since that’s basically all my life is. Work, house and social interactions online. What time I do have I spend playing games to try and get away from stuff. My libido has been a problem as well and I think that’s due to stress and higher volatile ranges. The need to feel anything over feeling constant misery.
So why am I stating these things? So people may understand why I will be ‘going dark’ so to speak. More so dimming but point remains.
1) Less interaction in the fandom.
- I will not be getting very many commissions of stuff going forward. I still will on occasion as I try to help the people I have befriended with some financial issues and they repay me in art but otherwise I don’t really plan or desire to branch out now
- Maybe it’s been noticed but recently my posts are just me stating an artist (and if I dislike the piece, why I do). I do not really feel motivated or inspired to write little excerpts for pieces like I use to. A good chunk of that is because most of what I get is at the mercy of artists whims as opposed to actual ‘lore’ for the character.
- Stories will be less forthcoming. My creativity is stifled heavily by my mental state deteriorating from multiple reasons, some not included in this post. Writing has become very slow and, sadly, almost chore like rather than something I enjoy doing. So either I have to give up quality to try and work on stuff or I just don’t work on stuff much at all. Neither is very appealing options but I’d rather give something quality or quantity.
2) I won’t be talking much. This applies moreso to my friends on DMs
- Something I find sad is that for most people, they expect the other person to reach out to them. But that’s not how a friendship should work. Checking in on each other is what I perceive a friendship should be and I do not have many people that care if I’m around or not. I am tired of reaching out all the time, always having to be the one to check on others.
- Something else sad is just how shallow people are now. You can be having a very pleasant time with someone for weeks or months and when you suddenly have this turn in character they just dip out immediately and block you. This happened recently with someone I tried to befriend. And reminds me why I stopped trying at all.
3) I want to stop dealing with past individuals.
- There’s a lot of art I have gotten in my time that came from people I believed were friends or respectable people only to later find out that they had swindled me in some way. As such, I will be removing some pieces from my gallery.
- In preparation of removal, I will give people about a week to get things they would like or ask about specific pieces they enjoy. I will also be making another, separate journal about this and that will mark the countdown for it.
- For assistance, most if not all the pieces I plan to remove from my gallery will be from the scraps section. I will keep a backup of them for record keeping purposes but I don’t plan to release them again.
If you have questions about anything, you can leave a comment or note me specifically. If it’s personal I will return with notes myself but otherwise anything I miss in my sharing will be shared in comments.
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2 weeks, 1 day ago
09 Aug 2025 21:22 CEST
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