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weird rambling about being hormonal

by River06

So like, skip this if you want (can) cuz i dont normally air my feelings and whatever- but idk, i think i could share a little, mostly cuz this happens on this website lmao, i

So like, lil thing about me, im asexual and my libido is like- super low (yeah, and i dedicate to draw porn, leave me alone lmao), but some time ago i used to jump from relationship to relationship because i couldnt really be alone, long distance or not, i just wanted someone to feel validated, seen and all that gay shit

but tbh, almost all my experiences with men are sooooo ass, and after thinking about it for so long, i realised i dont even like sex, i just wanna be with someone but- yk, its hard. And so ive tried to mantain myself single and spend more time with friends- And so far it has worked! Ibe been happy and all...

BUT GOD DAMN IT i cant help but sometimes just want to be with a guy, and i have this intrusive thoughts with random people, even people here i dont even fkn know cuz i never messaged them and who knows if they are crazy XDD

i hope im just being hormonal, being with a guy would be nice but.... long distance is a pain in the ass, and not all people wanna respect me not really wanting to do anything physical.

BLA BLA BLA whatever, thanks for listening lmao

Viewed:	52 times
Added:	2 weeks, 2 days ago 03 Aug 2025 05:59 CEST

8 Comments on this Journal

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island

2 weeks, 2 days ago

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What works for my relationship with my partner is we can play with people outside our relationship but at the end of the day we come home to one another. I'm not that highly sexual either at times and neither is he. Then again we're bother pretty tired as any day of activity to begin with. We understand that we love one another and that we wouldn't want anyone else. Friends on the side are just that "Friends with benefits" that we do not worry about attraction beyond "Fuck sex partner" but not "I want to spend my life with person partner" like they have with me.

River06

2 weeks, 2 days ago

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@ island

man, that sounds real nice tbh, had a couple friends with benefits in the past and let some of my partners have some too- and god it is hard to have people that actually JUST want to be friends that sometimes fuck without ulterior motives or wanting to iniciate a relationship haha
Glad to hear that works for yall, and hope ya are happy <3

PapaYeen

2 weeks, 2 days ago

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i know im new to this site and we don’t really know each other, but i wanted to comment anyways to offer a bit of…validation? maybe?

one being, unfortunately it’s not uncommon to have unhealthy relationships. that doesn’t make it your fault or to any fault of your sexual preferences/lacktherof—a lot of people have trauma, even more that that: a lot of people who have trauma don’t think/know they do. so, it’s very hard for some folks to be… “normal” for lack of a better term. we’re all flawed, and we always will be, but it’s difficult to form long-lasting platonic connections with toxic people, much less romantic ones who have insights on things most others don’t.

second. it’s also extremely normal for asexual people to express themselves via. fiction, because it’s safe and controlled and offers all the happy brain chemicals without the need of “actual” attraction, etc. so anyone who judges you for that one can go bite a shoe lol.

and third, it’s more than possible to have romantic relationships without sex entirely. my relationship is like that, and it’s probably the happiest i’ve ever been. my partner is almost 40, never had sex. meanwhile, my libido is crazy high and i’ve been sexually active for 20+ years of my life.

so, i guess what i’m attempting to say is that there’s no real right vs wrong when it comes to how to feel, express yourself, etc. and having preferences and fantasies is totally normal. ♡ you’ll find what you’re looking for, and maybe you’ll find something you weren’t looking for that ends up being perfect. just hang in there.

River06

2 weeks, 2 days ago

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Edited 2 weeks, 2 days ago by Owner

@ PapaYeen

Awww, thanks a lot fot the validation and retrospective in a way. i try to be positive with myself and my situation but man... it sure gets hard sometimes, even more with my lack of social skills haha

Ill do my best and keep going without this getting me all bothered, theres better stuff to get focused than guys, like me!
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....But a nice, gentle man that respects boundaries also would be nice lmao

beforethefall

2 weeks, 2 days ago

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Edited 2 weeks, 2 days ago by Owner

Fellow ace brother! Be seen and heard! <3 I'm ace/aro (more specifically aegosexual but splitting hairs) but damn it gets lonely sometimes. Your feelings are valid, I think everyone deserves to have intimate relationships (not just physically, but like, actual intimacy). Big hugs.

River06

2 weeks, 2 days ago

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@ beforethefall

yeaaahh, but surrounding ya self with a bunch of lovely peeps and having actual actiivities has helped me a lot :3
still- damn, wishing the men fairy makes my wishes come true some day lmao

beforethefall

2 weeks, 1 day ago

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@ River06

Wishing you luck friend <3

dextrous

2 weeks, 2 days ago

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Without making this all about me, I just want to say I can relate but in a different way. I've often experimented with the label asexual myself because I also have a quite low libido. Problem is sometimes my mind craves sex, love, relationships etc. but my body doesn't. I think it'd be a lot easier if I just fully didn't have those desires but unfortunately I do. All of my relationships so far have all been long distance too and yeah they just feel fake and not real. So I tried to find people who are actually close by and I found that to be incredibly tough too. I don't have the social skills to manage dating properly... but I can't expect guys to just suddenly find me out of nowhere. I stop trying then I feel hollow and unfulfilled. So I'm kind of just silently suffering because I want it but I don't really want it and that kind of confusing mixed signals does no one any good.

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