I haven't posted anything in like a year again, so some of you who still follow me might be wondering what's going on and whether I'm even still active/able.
Long story short, yes I'm fine, I'm just stuck in a bit of a pickle concerning how to proceed with what I like to do.
For the past couple of years or so, I've been working very passionately on trying to get into making indie games with friends. Not just as a hobby - I've been paid for my work, I've counted my hours properly and treated it like a real job, and I've offered to work for free when funding becomes scarce. For various reasons, it always seems like it's going to be promising, and production is full steam ahead, but something always happens to leave the project either unfinished or dead in the water. I still have hope that the current game I've been working on will somehow see the light of day, but it's not looking like that can happen anytime soon. I can't really say much about it in its current state, but I personally believe in the direction it's been heading in...but the lead developer, whom is someone I really respect and a very talented individual themselves, doesn't have the same vision or belief, it seems. They're the one who calls the shots, so after spending all that time and money, maybe nothing will come of it, or maybe it'll take a few more years.
I'm learning a lot when it comes to 3D modeling, rigging and animating but I'm still not confident enough yet to show off my current progress. I want to make something really 'complete' before I show it off, more for my own satisfaction, just to remember what it's like to actually finish something. I spend all day tweaking verts, adjusting helper bones and manual weight painting and then I get tired and end up playing Guild Wars 2 or Warframe for weeks at a time.
My family situation is stable currently but still requires me to stay homebound caring for elderly family members as my full-time job, basically. I can only work from home. It's not the worst, but it does leave me feeling trapped sometimes.
I've been trying to teach myself to code so I can make my own games or at least help out the programmers I do end up working with. Maybe if I'm more competent at that level, these projects will actually be managable. I've been trying to learn python and I want to make something in Godot or whatever just to get started.
I also just want to make something really obscene, to feel more free. But that's getting increasingly harder to do, with avenues for even publishing a game like that getting smaller and smaller by the day. I planned on making something to release on itch.io, and now itch.io has just gone nuclear on nsfw content. It just feels sometimes like the world wants to keep me trapped in an eternal pipe dream.
I don't want to just sit around feeling sorry for the state of things though and I don't want to stop doing what I enjoy, so I'm just left wondering - what is the correct course of action here? Do I keep working on making a game solo, even if I can't sell it? I don't mind doing that since I have free time, but how would I even share it these days? Subscribestar? Make a fully SFW demo for itch.io/steam and then advertise the NSFW version as a link-to? I know the current situation is hitting a lot of actual developers pretty hard, so what's the consensus on the best tactics to get around these tedious issues?
Anyway, I want to start making things again soon. There's just a lot in my head and I'm kind of slow. Thanks to anyone who's still enjoying my work. I was really hoping I'd be able to share more by now, but things just aren't working out at the moment, sorry.
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2 weeks, 2 days ago
24 Jul 2025 22:21 CEST
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