I'm gonna tell you all about the truth of why I don't draw as much as I should/want to.
You know that I usually tell you that I feel tired, I feel sick, I have to deal with my health problems, or I'm busy with other things and I have no time, right?
Well, that's in part true, in other part false. I'm sorry, mostly for those people who supported me and asked for a commission.
Don't worry, in fact I don't lie. It's completely true that all those times I told that I felt sick, I felt tired, I hadn't time enough, I was busy, were real situations. The thing is that sometimes, those situations were not as heavy as it should be, to the point to don't draw, cause yes, for example I suffer a lot with my allergy, but around 60% of reactions are not as hard as I mean, so I actually can work if I just take my meds.
What actually happens? Well... I just can't work. It's my tablet, the main problem. To me, using my current tablet is A PAIN. It frustrates me a lot, it makes me angry, I don't enjoy drawing. That's because it's too slow and it works bad. I feel like wasting my time. Something that can take 10min, to me is easily 30-40min. I have to repeat and repeat and repeat what I draw, praying for my tablet to not bug, to not crash, to not die.
I'm not one of those people who change technology like underwear, for 2 reasons, I'm poor and I like to hold what it keeps working, badly, but keeps working. That happened with my first smartphone, a Samsung Galaxy S3 Mini. 8 years of use until I changed it. It never broke. I take care of technology.
I did the same with my tablet. My current tablet is a Samsung Galaxy Tab A50 from 2016, but I bought it in 2018. 7 years of use. It keeps working, bad, slow, but I can keep using it. That's why I never changed it. Not until tomorrow that I will try to buy a new one, I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM ANYMORE.
In short, why I don't work? Cause time, I HAVE TIME, I live with my parents and my only job is this! I HAVE TIME! But you don't know how angry I feel when I draw. I can't do what I want to do, it's IMPOSSIBLE. If you see me 3 years ago for example, a drawing took me 2 days, or even one day to be finished. Right now I need a fucking week!!! I just used most of those moments of "I feel sick", "I'm too tired", "I'm busy", etc, as an excuse. Sick? My nose itches a bit, that's all. Tired? Yeah, I slept badly cause my schedule is a mess and it's my fault. Busy? Yeah... busy taking care of my fruits in Stardew Valley or watching football! That's the truth.
I feel bad when I draw, frustrated, angry, cause I can't draw as good as I'd like. And as I feel bad, I don't enjoy, and if I don't enjoy, I don't work on it.
What I will do? Go for a Samsung Galaxy Tab S9 FE. 500-600€. Discounted in MediaMarkt as I could find. This is possible thanks to all of you guys.
If you ask, yeah I like Samsung brand, precisely because their products are pretty good and they have a long life. That's what I will do. So I'll try to work much more once I get it, with the new pencil that tablet has, not like the ones I use that are literally those ones with a bad tactile rubber tip that makes my tablet all dirty and it's not accurate to draw, worse to slide.
This is my next step and all the truth about why I don't draw as much as I should.
