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Malachyte

GAD

Sooo... been having a crazy and rough couple weeks again. Two coworkers of mine, totally separate from each other, each suggested I may have Generalized Anxiety Disorder of some kind, after I related some of my worries and feelings to them. I googled it... I hate when something undesirable fits me to a T like this. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/generalized_anxiety_di...

This explains so many of my feelings, along with my horrible stomachaches I've been having, same time on the dot every day, as well as why I'm avoiding all social contact despite being incredibly lonely from Toby and I working opposite ends of the day (I seriously see him maybe 20 minutes a day during the week, and then a couple hours Saturday while he catches up on sleep, and then I work half of Sunday and everything sucks). I'm constantly freaking out at work that I'm going to do a bad job at being a supervisor (a position I'm new to), or that I've made an employee mad or forgotten something important and disappointed my manager, etc etc this list is long.

I never used to worry about everything all the time, was fine with answering phones or getting emails, etc. Some things happened in high school that made me do a 180 on things. I went from being exceptionally carefree to being Chuckie from Rugrats. These days I have a small freak out when my phone rings, or even if I have a note on FA. Doesn't matter who it's from or what's in it, I just... panic. I always told myself I put off answering notes because I'm busy or tired or whatever, and those may be partly true sometimes, but it seems it's more that I'm afraid of talking to people and messing up, and then I put it off and feel bad for doing so, so I put it off longer and let the guilt build and build until I don't even log on to FA/IB/SF for a month.

I'm really glad my coworkers pointed this out to me. If it hadn't been for them putting a name to the problem, I would have just kept trucking, thinking worrying this much is just a quirk I have, or something that would just disappear eventually, hopefully. I'm going to try the methods that article mentions so I can learn that the world won't end if I don't worry about it constantly. I've had many people tell me I don't need to worry so much, but sometimes I just need something said in just the right way for it to get through my thick skull.

Anyways, I'm gonna try to pull back together here, go through my notes and organize the mess I left poor FA/IB/SF in :I

tl;dr Looks like I have GAD, and I'm sorry I was/am avoiding FA/IB/SF for a bit there while I dealt with a heavy dose of badness.

I still won't be very responsive in all likelihood until I come fully back into the swing of things, just as a heads up.
Viewed: 94 times
Added: 5 years, 11 months ago
 
Shokuji
5 years, 11 months ago
Sorry to hear you have GAD. I think everyone will understand you needing to take a break to focus on RL stuff. Take care of yourself, we'll be here when you can come back fully. =3
Zeikcied
5 years, 11 months ago
I know anxieties all too well.  Your real life is more important than online stuff.  So take however much time you need.
NB
NB
5 years, 11 months ago
*gives comforts and cookies*
squirrelfox
5 years, 11 months ago
You're not alone.  I've also got GAD.  Looking at that site, quite a bit of that sounds like stuff I'm working on with my therapist (which would be easier if I had a support network of friends, but I don't, so... eh).  It can help, but sometimes it isn't enough.  If you're still having trouble, and you've got health insurance and can afford psychiatric medication, SSRI's (anti-depressants) can be extremely helpful at alleviating the symptoms and helping you get back into a mindset that lets you function again.  I've been on them, and they worked for a while, though I need to talk to my psychiatrist about changing up my meds, since my current ones aren't cutting it anymore -- which happens sometimes.

Best of luck getting yourself back on track!  <3

*quick hug*
Tycloud
5 years, 11 months ago
I would usually offer hugs but if you have that you may not like physical contact.
TastesLikeGreen
5 years, 11 months ago
Oh dear, that sounds dreadful! Self-diagnosing yourself with stuff can be dangerous, I'd talk to a doctor about it before I made any definitive declarations about it one way or the other, but I hope (if it's true) that you look into treatment. After all, everyone deserves to be happy.

And hey, don't you worry about that picture, I wouldn't dream of badgering you about it if you've got all this stress on your plate right now. It's not like I'm going anywhere. I hope you feel better soon.
Malachyte
5 years, 11 months ago
No worries, I know the power self-diagnosed internet problems hold, ha ha. I'm quite certain this is the case for me, however, at least to some extent. I'm not off to go get meds for it or anything, I'm mostly looking for changes in my lifestyle that will help me calm down when I'm facing stressful situations (or rather, learning that many of the situations I get stress from shouldn't warrant any in the first place). It's helped a lot that I'm working mornings now, so I can see my husband more than almost never :O He is a wonderful stress relief, heh.

And don't you worry about me not worrying about the picture, it will be an astounding piece of art, just not a timely one, lol. I never leave a bro hanging on a trade though, rest assured *nods with finality*
CooperEudaemon
5 years, 11 months ago
Well, if there's anything we can do to help in your recovery process, just say the word.
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