Okay, some of you might be confused by the title, but truth be told this is the fourth in a series of journals I'd only been posting on DA. But I'm sharing it here too because this is no longer a DeviantArt-centred issue.
As I mentioned in the previous update, I'd albeit reluctantly been experimenting with an AI program since March 2024 (that program being Automatic1111). Spent a long time working on one scenario that I just couldn't get to work, and then from January/February I began working on another scenario featuring Nina Cortex and I hadn't been able to generate anything decent enough to be worth upgrading into a final product. Again, it's nowhere near as easy as "type in what you want and DING all done", BELIEVE ME (that's only true for those little basic ones you can easily find online that gives you crappy small resolution results), and again, it doesn't require pre-existing pictures to be used either (not that I'd even want to use any in the first place). You'd think I could just try and hang in there for another 6 months in hopes of generating something more decent, but truth be told I've been doing this for years already and I'm just not getting any younger. In fact, I was supposed to have retired from DA (etc.) by now! But instead it looks as though it'll still be a few more months before I can hang up the hat. With that said, I've made the decision to discontinue my attempt at AI generated art and will be uninstalling everything in the near future (not looking forward to it TBH).
And so this begs the question; now what?
CASH COMMISSIONS Well, I already mentioned I've tried to find ABDL artists in my area (i.e. South East Queensland) whom I could try and buy a commission from in advance via meeting up and paying in CASH (that way I'm not having to touch any digital transaction method which would record any transaction I make which in turn would inevitably result in my secret being blown open [could take 60 years, could be instant, I'd rather not find out]). Though my search did turn up dry, I'm thinking about giving this one more go, one more attempt at being able to achieve the seemingly impossible and make a commission without putting my secret at risk of being exposed (if only ABDL artists *ahem* thought about taking 5 minutes out of their lives to add a warning about the consequences of making a commission to their commission chart/info, it's not like their customers are fully/truly aware of what they're getting themselves into, they should be given the right to know).
AI... REQUESTS!? And if that doesn't work, well let's just say there are some AI artists out there who said they'd be more than happy to take a request from me. So if you thought the risk of AI art appearing on my page is gone, think again. If I find myself with no other option, I might just take up on someone's offer. Again, it's not the sort of outcome I'd prefer, but remember I'm trying to fulfil a vision through whatever means I'm able to, so if I've got to request an AI artist to make something like some sucker, then so be it. Don't get mad at me if I find myself being backed into that corner.
THE ACTUAL LAST RESORT But if that somehow fails too, or more likely that I'm not able to bring all my ideas to life, then my final attempt would be to make a journal of all the scenarios I have in mind for female characters from Crash Bandicoot. That would be done in hope that someone would check it out and find an idea they like enough to bring to life themselves (whether it's an artist, a requester, a commissioner who's already made at least one commission in the past, etc.). But could you imagine how flawed the ABDL community would have to be for someone who'd traditionally browsed DA (etc.) without an account, who knows better than to make a digital commission, who'd brought to life the first ABDL art of Nina Cortex, who spent years encouraging the rest of the community to make more art of that character, even going as far as to run around the internet trying to capture every ABDL pic of every female Crash Bandicoot character to the point of even putting together a complex journal where all that could be found on the internet could be accessed in one place and constantly updating it, and has dealt with all sorts of artists along the way, I'M STILL GOING, who spent ages looking around the country for someone to mail cash to, or looking around his city for any sign of an ABDL artist, or even spending years trying to accumulate deviantPOINTS in hopes of making point commissions, or even be stuck here for longer and longer because artists can't stop filtering/gardenwalling clean ABDL art which makes for the perfect conditions for a life-ruining addiction which I'm fighting to keep myself out of (assuming it isn't already too late), to have his impact be reduced to making suggestions on some journal on what might likely become an increasingly off-the-beaten-track account that can only be found via a link that features just another random username and maybe some abstract looking profile picture if lucky? Could you imagine the pain of being in such a state? Because it's looking more and more likely that's how it's gonna be for me, and what a shame it would be if the world's gone that mad!
For now, let's just focus on one thing at a time. With that said, does anyone know any ABDL artists from Brisbane and/or South East Queensland? If so then PLEASE let me know, because I've been dying to know for ages, I've been dying for a breakthrough for ages, and I think this journal makes the latter very clear.
