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My Silent Tears...

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On July 1st, I had my Mother's funeral. It was a difficult process, had an asthma attack near the end, but got through it. The very next day, I got news from my Dad's doctors that his lungs are shot. while he's been passing breathing trials, taking the intibation from his throat has a high chance that My dad won't be able to maintain breathing on his own. And instead of having the breathing tube back in his throuat, he wants to be made comfortable and given the morphine drop so he can pass comfortably. This was his choice. Dad made that choice and wanted the throat tube removed that day, but I managed to plead with him to let family say goodbye.

Today is his last day, and instead of wanting to do what I would like, take him home and have a happy ending, I have to take care of his last loose ends. So once again, pray for me, I have wishes to fullfill
Viewed: 11 times
Added: 6 days, 13 hrs ago
 
ElfenSciuridae
6 days, 12 hrs ago
No one has a choice when and where they are born, and very few have the choice whey die.

Like your father, back in 102010 my mom wanted her life extending measures ended. I made a deal with her that she can die when I graduate from college in Spring 2012. It was a hard fight; not with mom, as things got easier after making that deal with her, but with my college professor who tried to fail me for stupid reasons and  I had my counselor and college board take over my grades, though she tried to fail me at the last minute with some tech admin giving her access to my grades. In short, I had both the professor and the tech admin fired for that damned stunt.

I got my degree on May 20th and had it mounted by her bed where whole family visiting her can see that her eldest son graduated from college, the first member of the family to do so in generations. Then we had a talk a long one, and she asked for forgiveness for the things she did and could not do for me as a child. I gave it to her. Then I took my degree home. The following morning (July 4th) she died.

As big, rich and powerful as my family is in some Americanized Caribbean Island, no one came to help. I literally had to set up funeral arrangements for her on my own. Certain family members only came to demand for their share of the family riches now that she is gone. I told them to go screw themselves. As per her wishes, she was cremated and has ashes spread across Coney Island - something about that place she loved.  I had to get a special permit (which was not necessary at the time) and do so at 3:30AM when the area was empty; which it wasn't. Coney Island during the summer was a 24hr party going on. But I managed to do it.

Sorry for the rant first of all, all that has been locked up inside me for for so long.

And again, sorry for your loss. Your must be doubly heavy with their passing happening so close. But like I said when you posted about your mother's passing, Do them proud. Make them say to those in heaven that they are proud of what you do. Then deal with life as you need and see fit. They both live within you now, and you will carry those memories for the rest of your life.

Condolences and Empathy my friend. You deserve much more than words can give but words is all we have. Be strong and carry on.
ruink
6 days, 6 hrs ago
loved this story, it helps me smile
KevinSnowpaw
6 days, 12 hrs ago
Jesus man :( talk about a doubble whammy...


Im so sorry for you...and so impressed with your stoic fortitude this is probably the hardest thing you will ever do...


One day soon I will have to say goodbye to my mother as well...probably sooner then im ready for and way sooner then id like..

my thoughts and prayers are with you I know this is hard :( I am so sorry for your pain.

People are here for you.
ruink
6 days, 6 hrs ago
thank you
KevinSnowpaw
6 days, 5 hrs ago
just do your best to stay strong it doesnt feel like it but things do get better.
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