Well... I'm sure some of you might already know, but for those who don't, Roarey Raccoon, Allan Fildes, was found dead in his bed this morning. He's believed to have died of natural causes, but with how recent his passing is, we can't know for sure yet, and I believe it would be disrespectful to speculate. Not that many people in this fandom are willing to give him that respect...
- I'll keep this bit brief. He put his opinions out there and didn't back down. In this day in age where people will fight you and de-platform you, and take EVERYTHING you made or had for having the "wrong" opinion, it's respectable that he stuck to it, even as they did all of that. I'm ashamed of myself for not sticking up for him, but how can I not be afraid with the way he was treated?
Whether you agreed with him or not, please, at least wait until he's been buried to dance on his grave. Some people are already skipping around in circles on the plot before we've cut the stone or even broke the ground. Have some fucking restraint.
put it better than I could, and he was half blinded by tears when writing his goodbye journal (which I encourage you to read.)
I don't know him as well as other people, but I know that he was talented, and that he had more patience than you could give him credit for. How do I know that? Because he put up with me for so long! Anybody who can tolerate me in their presence for that long is okay in my book! Man... Even for a guy who only just spoke with him directly one on one a few times, I'm still tearing up. Shit...
He was British, unapologetically so. I loved his accent. And the artwork I got from him will remain some of my favorite pieces of all time.
This one
has a fun story behind it, that I don't think I've told many people before. It was originally going to be a lot more angsty, I wanted something violent in the cute style, you know, juxtaposition, but just before he put pen to tablet, I got my head straight, and realized I'd much rather have something beautiful made instead. I'm glad I did. I don't think he said so directly to me, but I think I remember him saying in passing that it was one of his favorite pieces he's done. I've had a lovely print of it framed for a while now. I smile every time I see it. Now I'm going to cry every time I see it... At least for the rest of the year. Some people speculate as to what music I was dancing to, nothing in particular was in mind. But the original idea of me all cut up and... eugh, what a cringe kid I was. Well, anyways, the original piece was going to be called "I guess I just wasn't made for these times." So, I think the final title for it should be, "Wouldn't it be nice?"
When Brian Wilson wrote that song, it was musically a pure expression of joy, and lyrically, a happy song about something sad. I think it matches my feelings of who I was and who I still am now. A happy song about something sad. Maybe some day it'll be a sad song about something happy? Well, anyways, now you know what I was dancing to. Alternatively I think I may have actually been thinking about The Jackson's Blame it on The Boogie? It's been a little too long to know for sure...
But man, the way he did it still makes me smile. I am so very honored to have had artwork made by him for me. He too captured that pure expression of joy.
Also, shoutouts to this piece.
I got it because I love the fact that brits like him call cigarettes fags, and I thought "Oh man, I'm sure the joke has been made before, but who can say no to a little cheeky wordplay from a fag like me?" I did not have the balls then to tell him that my eyes should have been green >< I suppose I'll never get this piece fixed now hahah. That's on me, I know he would have fixed it if I had asked. He delt straight with people. But it's the kinda feeling you get when you're at a restaurant and they get something wrong, but you still don't want to complain because you would just feel like such an asshole.
I will also forever kick myself for not buying that Tails daki cover that he made that was being sold for a while. If anybody from adore-a-pup is reading, I know paypal and other payment processors go after folks like you, but if you've got a remaining one, PLEASE LET ME BUY IT. Alternatively, please do another run if you can. We could put the money towards his family. I would be real keen on that.
Shit, he was funny too. I laughed at lot of the stuff he said so bluntly. Ah, the dry British humor. Very much in line with the kind of stuff that was in the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka & Chocolate Factory.
Roarey was complaining about pain more than usual the few days up to his death, he hadn't been in the mood to draw anything for a while now. He's been in and out of it like that for years, but I don't think any of us realized that this was coming. Dead at 39, really do think about that. It's no wonder we're all shocked, considering that the average male life expectancy in the UK is 82. He had never been the picture of perfect health, he fought more demons and ailments than many of us will ever know. But still... I take solace in the fact that his art will live longer than any of us. That's why we create, why we struggle. Why we make beauty out of our pain and pain from our beauty.
Well... Here it comes. That final goodbye that you wish you could have said to them, but you don't get to.
Roarey, because of your server, I've met some of the best friends I've ever had in my life. Your creations touched so many more than you will ever know, and for that, I thank you. More than that, for what you've done for me, and the people whom I've met because of you; I am forever in your debt, and I will remain thankful every day for the people I've met, who honor me so much with their friendship. Goodbye Allan. Please, rest easy now.
