Know yours, and insist that people respect them.
Only you get to push them and decide where your comfort zone lies.
TL;DR: People are nuts and don't respect your boundaries, so don't be afraid to flip them the middle finger and go do something else that's less draining.
Last weekend, I decided that I would take a couple days off to hang around some wholesome people, have some fun, and get away from all the craziness that's been slowly worming its way into my world. The problem with that is that my world is admittedly very small right now, and it's very much a madhouse run by the inmates. Furries are not the most mentally stable individuals, as I'm sure you've seen in the unhinged manifestos about spray cheese, the not-so-subtle calls for violence against people they disagree with politically, or the ever-shifting landscape of social justice issues that fall in and out of favor as quickly as they go viral on social media.
Don't get me wrong; I love hanging out with my fellow furries, but some are just nutjobs enabling bigger nutjobs.
When I realized that was all I was seeing for a couple days, I backed off, hung out with some good friends, and (briefly) considered church for the first time in... um... 30-ish years. I decided that my limit had been reached when I saw a guy simultaneously arguing that he should be allowed to use whatever public restroom he wants while also saying he doesn't fit in with certain demographics who would use said restroom. Literally "I just want to pee in the ladies' room because the men's room smells like ass and women don't use public restrooms as much, so they're cleaner." Nothing about trans issues or whatever. Just entitlement to pee someplace that he's not supposed to pee. That's it.
I'd already seen enough growing insanity that I felt I was going to be overwhelmed, so I took a big step back. A huge one, really. It felt nice, until the space that I retreated to was also filled with insipid "logic" and enough brain-rotting ignorance and cringe-worthy behavior to make the furries look tame by comparison. Someone took a game of "Would You Rather" and turned it into a soapbox, which then spread to other topics and drove me quickly to migraine.
It just wasn't worth it to "go outside and meet people" after going through my online communities, either.
I'll save the details, but I have discovered that my tolerance toward certain behaviors and mindsets has absolutely deteriorated over the last five or six years. I just can't be bothered to "take the bait" any longer, nor to passively sit by as people act a fool. However, if I speak up, I know that I'm going to get into a verbal brawl (and possibly a physical one) with some people. My "social fill line," as my wife calls it, is much lower than it used to be, and I could go on ad nauseum about the contributing factors.
So, I learned to respect my limits as much as I ask people to do the same.
When I say "that's enough politics," I mean it. When I say "that's stupid and I'm not going to argue with you on it any more," I stand by it. When I say "that's enough internet for today," I apparently mean "don't show me your moronic tattoo or TikTok dance video."
Et cetera.
The problem, however, is that people will NOT respect boundaries.
So be firm.
If that doesn't work, just leave - people who aren't going to conduct themselves in a civil manner are not worth engaging with, especially when they're already on your nerves.
Respect your boundaries. Respect your limits. Insist that others do the same.
The more you respect yourself, the more others will respect you.
I just cleared 444 submissions and nearly 60 notifications to the effect of "I want attention because I'm <demographic> and feeling vulnerable."
I think I may be reaching that "fill line" again, so I'm going to respect that limit and enjoy some time in the sun with my dog.
If you've actually read this whole thing, congrats, I suppose.
Now, go get some fresh air, have a nice snack, and/or put on your favorite tunes; self-care is essential.
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01 May 2025 18:04 CEST
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