43. Bee Movie
“WHY IS YOGURT NIGHT SO DIFFICULT?!”
This is one of the weirdest fucking movies I’ve ever seen in my life and I admire it so much for that.
Going into it, I had heard it was weird. I knew there were tons of memes centered on it. I didn’t quite know if it was exaggerated or if it was one of those situations where the internet glommed onto something at random. Turns out, no, this movie is randomness incarnate and it deserves all the attention it’s gotten for being unhinged as fuck.
Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld) is a bee. Also, his best friend is a bee named Adam Flayman (Matthew Broderick). They are in a beehive and they graduate in a day to be worker bees and choose a job, one job, to do for the rest of their lives until they die. There’s a huge board of constant, flashing jobs that are opening and closing all the time just because of how fast these bees live and die. It feels like it's going into Antz territory with its message and being a typical, colorful kids movie at that. At first.
Then Barry goes out into the world because he’s bored of hive life and yadda yadda. You’ve seen this part before. Then he meets Vanessa (Renée Zellweger), who is a human. She saves his life from her boyfriend Ken (Patrick Warburton) and his gruff, amusing, Patrick Warburton voice, and… the movie just turns into a fever dream.
Barry finds this human lady hot and wants to talk to her… so he does. He just does and Vanessa is taken by surprise that a bee can talk. It’s against bee law to talk to humans but he does anyway and breaks the fabric of her reality. Later they have coffee together. He can’t finish the whole thing because he’s a bee and if he tries he will literally die.
Also, he’s a bee and he’s got a crush on a human so that’s weird.
Then, however, he goes to the store and sees all the jars of honey in there and realizes that the honey from the bees are being stolen from the humans and resold. So he goes on an investigation to find out about the secret, dark criminal behavior that the humans are ushering in to get all this honey.
At first, you see this and you’re like “Oh, he’s overreacting. He’s a bee and he’s stupid so he doesn’t get that they’re just doing their jobs by cultivating this honey”... but no. Barry sees the beekeepers getting the honey from the bees and they’re literally talking to each other like evil supervillains.
They’re like “Yeah, those stupid fucking bees! HAHA! They make all the honey while WE make all the money!” and they use gas weapons on them to keep them docile like in real life but not for their protection but because they’re manipulative assholes. They’re purposefully doing this to the bees because they’re evil!
Not only that, but while Barry was in the store some guy overheard him talking and knew right away that Barry was a talking bee so he gets into a sword fight him where he fights him with a pin against Barry’s stinger. Fucking duel of the fates with this store employee happens or some shit. It’s so fucking strange but NO! It gets stranger.
Barry decides to SUE humanity because of all the honey they’ve taken and the movie becomes about this actual bee suing humans and talking to them in the court of law and everyone just goes along with it. The lawyer that John Goodman plays ends up in a baby walker halfway through the proceedings because he’s lost his goddamn mind and ends up thinking that pretending the bees have killed him will get him the win. It doesn’t.
The bees win the case and then all the honey production stops… but because the bees are no longer doing their job, all the plants and flowers just die. Apparently that lawyer was so dumb that he couldn't just get a scientist to show up and explain what would happen if this came to pass.
So then Barry has to fix everything and that somehow leads to two pilots getting knocked out inside a plane and Barry and Vanessa needing to land the plane… but they can’t so instead a bunch of bees fly over to the bottom of the plane and keep it lifted up so that it can properly land on an arrow made of bees.
This entire movie is predicated on it’s opening message about how according to all laws of aviation, bees shouldn’t be able to fly because their bodies are too fat. They’re wings shouldn’t be able to lift them but they fly anyway because bees don’t give a shit about what’s actually possible.
That’s the justification granted so that a horde of them can carry, fly, and land a plane. Not just land a plane but move it around like it’s an action figure that they’re trying to figure out where to place on a desk.
Then there’s Ken, the boyfriend, who tries to kill Barry long after it’s discovered he has human intelligence. Barry is threatening his relationship with Vanessa, somehow, and he tries to kill him. He really wants to have a good yogurt night with his girl. That’s all he wants. Vanessa stops him from killing Barry and he leaves.
Poor Ken, I guess.
Uhm, also, Barry becomes a lawyer but also still gets honey for the bees. That’s the movie. That’s what happens in this movie and I gotta say… respect.
I have nothing but respect for a film that says “fuck it” and truly just does whatever the fuck it wants because who the hell is going to stop them? You? No. You’re not going to stop them.
You couldn’t stop the Bee Movie.
The Bee Movie IS.
Now, despite the fact that the Bee Movie IS… the fact of the matter is that, it kind of only has its extreme weirdness to go on here and as much as I appreciate and respect it there’s not much it lends itself to for me outside of some amusing memes. As funny as memes are, I tend to prefer movies. I don’t really have too much of a desire to revisit this despite being glad I finally saw it. I absolutely am happy it exists but as a film, there’s much better ones out there for certain.
I would say this film does deserve your attention at least for one sit down. It may not change your life but it’ll sure show you something insane and make you stop and think.
Perhaps, maybe… just maybe I’ve made a little too much sense in my life.
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1 month, 3 weeks ago
27 Mar 2025 03:32 CET
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