The Illogic in Fairytales and Games: When Reality Says "Forget It!"
Fairytales and games are worlds where the rules of the real world sit quietly in a corner, crying and wondering why no one takes them seriously. Why? Because fairytales aren't about making sense – they're about making everything beautiful, magical, and simple. And that's exactly why there's chaos when someone tries to apply real-world logic to fairytales or games.
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Kids Without Sex: How Does That Work?
Let's start with the biggest illogic – kids. In fairytales and games, it's normal for a prince and princess to have a child without ever showing any sign of intimacy. No kisses more passionate than a quick "kiss on the cheek," no hints that they ever took a break from saving kingdoms for a romantic night. Suddenly, boom! A child appears.
An example? Snow White. She's dead (well, almost), the prince wakes her with a kiss, and what happens next? Wedding bells, and a few pages later, they have kids. No "Snow White, do you have time for coffee and something more?" – nothing. And what about Shrek? Sure, it's a more modern fairytale, but where's the logic in ogres (creatures with nonexistent biology) suddenly having three little ogres? These two should be more concerned about getting swallowed by something than planning a family.
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Magic: Solves Everything, but Explains Nothing
Fairytales act like magic covers up every plot hole (not literally, you filthy ones). A child? Magic. Saving the world? Magic. Why doesn’t the prince sweat when he runs in heavy armor? Magic. But magic is just a lazy excuse to cover up the fact that the author didn’t want to deal with logic. It's like someone saying, “Hey, something doesn’t make sense here.” And the author replies, “Don’t worry, it’s magic, man.”
An example? Cinderella. Everything she needs to go from poor girl to princess is one magical fairy. Okay, then why didn’t the fairy just conjure up permanent wealth for Cinderella? Why does the magic vanish at midnight? Does it have a broken magic plan, or what? These questions will never be answered because fairytales aren’t meant to make sense. They’re meant to be beautiful and simple.
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Heroes Without Physics and Biology
In games, the situation is even funnier. Characters ignore everything that should have an impact on them in the real world. Isn't it weird that heroes never eat, sleep, or take care of basic human needs, yet they can run, jump, and fight all day?
An example? Link from The Legend of Zelda. This guy has been saving princesses for decades and never needs to go to the bathroom or take a break for a proper meal. If he were made of flesh and bone, he would have collapsed somewhere in the middle of the forest by now. And what about his regeneration? You stab him in the gut, he takes a potion, and he’s back to full strength. Potion – just the magical version of "Get up and fight again, you bastard."
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Erotica in Fairytales? Terrible Idea
Now imagine that someone starts throwing more realistic elements into this world. Artists or writers who think, "Hey, what if we made these characters more human?" And what comes out of that? A princess with a deep neckline, a prince with abs, and a kid that’s no longer the result of magic but a nocturnal activity behind closed doors.
This is the problem, because fairytales and games were never meant to operate on the basis of real-world logic. Once you start humanizing these worlds, everything falls apart. How do you explain that Snow White survived a poisoned apple? Or that Mario can jump over a ten-meter gap? You can’t. And when you try to explain it, you suddenly realize that everything you liked about those fairytales vanishes.
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Proof? Just Open Your Eyes
Pick any fairytale or game and try to find the logic. Princes are always ready for battle but never carry food or water. Princesses have kids without ever taking off their dresses. Heroes survive attacks that would obliterate a tank in the real world. It all stands on the idea that the viewer or player won’t ask questions. And that’s the whole trick. Fairytales and games work because we don’t question them.
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So the conclusion? Fairytales and games are one big “forget logic.” And once you start looking at them through the lens of the real world, you'll realize that the beautiful, magical world falls apart faster than a cheap IKEA wardrobe.
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3 weeks, 6 days ago
15 Jan 2025 12:23 CET
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