So I'm here and I'm making a journal about something I never expected to. I know we've all been there or will be there but, it's.. never easy.
What's this about?
(What led to today) For those who haven't read my previous journals, I'll summarize. A few years ago, my mom was diagnosed with Cancer. I've lived with her through that, I sat with her in the hospital when she was given the news, and the first thing she said to me was "I don't want to go, I'm scared." She began her treatment not long after that, Chemo and Radiation, and it was some of the roughest times we've been through. Being she was treated in her neck, her skin there would burn badly, and she was in constant pain for weeks, her skin peeled off constantly, and it wasn't until she finally got some prescription ointment that it finally started to heal and stopped hurting so much.
Over the next two years, she had trouble eating(had a feeding tube installed), she lost 80 plus pounds, she lost the strength to walk properly, and eventually fell in the bathroom and fractured her back, leading to her severe decline until she was hospitalized and put on dialysis for her kidneys for a day(Due to a simultaneous UTI). They recovered, but she needed surgery for her back, especially due to a fluid buildup of some kind. She had an infection, and we were told she wouldn't make it long if it wasn't treated. Due to her weight and lack of strength however, she was rejected for treatment, but one hospital accepted her but had no beds. Her health sharply declined here, and then.. well, here we are.
Throughout all of it, I lived with her and was there for it. I watched her lose weight, go through the pain, sob, pray and beg to be healed, I listened to her cries of pain, I helped encourage her to eat and drink her ensures and get her weight up, I learned how to apply medication through an I.V. to treat her infection at home (Different infection), I applied lotion and ointment to the burns on her neck, I made her food, I changed her adult pads(when she couldn't walk anymore) and she'd laugh and point out how she changed me when I was little and now I was doing the same.
I tried my best to make her laugh and smile through it all. She had a great sense of humour and I knew how to push the funny bone with her every time. When I'd change her, I'd give her hip a pat like a baby spanking and she'd always get a kick out of it. I used to make Chris Jericho jokes with her like: "You know what you're gonna get? .......IT!" lol
After all of it, she is finally at rest, she's with God, and I do respect everyone's beliefs or lack of beliefs, I do. but I do genuinely believe she's in heaven, and now that she is, our family needs help burying her properly. That's why I'm making this journal.
(About Rachel P) What can I say about her? She was a mother, an amazing one. Not perfect, no. but to me she was, flaws and all. When I was too little to remember, she lost all of her kids to foster care because she was young, partying, and irresponsible. Yet when that happened, she dedicated the rest of her life to making up for it. She fought hard to get us back, and managed only to get back me and my sister (out of five). I remember the day I left my foster home and met her, I was about 4, and she was so happy. She had her arms out when we got out of the car, and held onto me and my sister. She worked hard ever since to raise us, literally a single mom working every day at her job. She liked to be social and drink a little, but that habit brought her friends and family together and I got to see my cousins all the time.
Eventually she stopped drinking and just kept doing her best. When she'd come home from working all day, it'd be night usually, but she'd cook for me and my sister, then we'd watch movies and tv shows. To this day, I try to watch things with my best friends on discord because that's how I know to spend time with the people I love, like she did with me and my sis. I love watching her favourite movies, she liked Chris Tucker, Jim Carrey, all the 90s comedies. She liked Tyler Perry, Ice Cube, Adam Sandler, Steven Segal and Liam Neeson. She loved Creed and Rocky movies, she LOVED horror movies like Chucky, Nightmare on Elm Street.
Her favourite show was the Price is Right, she watched that for over 40 years or so? Since the 70s or 80s. She'd never known much about the internet, but after she was diagnosed, she discovered google on her phone, then the next three years was her telling me facts about healthy diets, fruits, cancer fighting foods.. lol And she finally played an online multiplayer game, she became a true gamer on Yahtzee, she played that every day, she loved it, winning or losing.
Aside from that, she was a Leo, she had a bit of a temper, but she was always willing to listen and learn and care. Up until the last five or so months she wanted to do everything herself but I still helped. She hated the idea of not being independent, she was a true fighter and trooper. My mom loved her kids so much, she loved God, and loved life. She was a proud Walmart Associate, working Cashier for almost 20 years before she had to leave. She loved Walmart too lol She was a heavy talker, she never stopped when you got her started, but that's the case for my family, we took after her.
I could go on but, hopefully that gives some insight onto the kind of person she was. She had her likes, dislikes, and moments, but above it all, she was a mother, the best I could've asked for. I'll never stop missing her.
(Donations for her funeral) The situation we're in right now, frankly.. we're not ready. We can't afford the funeral, even to cremate we're scraping as much as we can and asking for donations, because it will cost us about 7-8k in total to do it. We WANT to do a proper Righteous burial for her, but that will cost 16k. So.. Everyone in the family is trying to seek donations and I'm here in this amazing community with all of the followers I've gathered over 12 years to do the same.
I hate to ask for help like this, I've had to do it once before to put my Bibi(Cat) to rest, but this is much bigger and much harder, and I could use the help of this awesome community. I am sorry to ask, but anything you do help with would be incredibly amazing, and I truly am grateful for that. Even if just spreading the word, or giving well wishes, or just reading this, it all helps. Thank you guys.
I will try to give back to the community for the help. In fact, I'm going to start on a picture series/comic next year after the dust is settled and my commissions are through, to say thank you.
I'm really sorry for your loss and for the problems you are going through. Today my grandfather passed away, it may not hurt more than it hurts losing a mother, but i know how it feels losing a loved one. Unfortunately, currently i have no job, no credit card or money that does not come from my parents, so i can't donate, i'm really sorry 😔. I hope you can move on after all this.
I'm really sorry for your loss and for the problems you are going through. Today my grandfather pass
Neither should hurt more or less, they're both big losses, and I feel for you, I really do. I'm so sorry <3 Don't worry about donating, you did your part now with your condolences, and I offer mine back. Thank you so much
Neither should hurt more or less, they're both big losses, and I feel for you, I really do. I'm so s
i really am sorry for your loss, i know it is hard, i hope things start to get better for you, that you can hold those memories in your heart, and never forget the lessons she taught you. you turned out great and you should be proud of yourself and proud of her for giving it her all and fighting as hard as she did! She certainly doesnt sound like a quitter for sure!
i really am sorry for your loss, i know it is hard, i hope things start to get better for you, that
