Story fragment: comments solicited

by

Background: Reggie Bennington is a grad student at Dolcett University, which specializes in asphyxia of various kinds, including snuff. He has completed all his coursework for a Masters degree in Erotic Executions, but he still needs to pass a practical examination, which involves executing several people using various forms of breath deprivation.

This is his third execution. But there's a problem: she is not psychologically ready for her execution.

Here is the execution order:

"

Libby Massey
Age: 19
Sentenced for: Breach of trust & Endangerment (see over)
Method: vaginal sex with manual strangulation
Condemned is in tears. You'll need to get her "in the mood."
---
Massey was acting as safety monitor while her roommate Algar Clark was hanging himself for autoerotic purposes. She got so involved with her own pleasure that she forgot to watch Clark. He was unconscious for nearly three minutes before she noticed and cut him down. The Dorm's EMT used an automatic external defibrillator (AED) and managed to bring him around, but it was a close call. There is a good chance that Clark lost some brain function from the incident.

And here is the beginning of the scene:

--------------------------------------------------------------

Reggie opened the door and found Libby weeping silently. Her tears turned to sobbing when she saw him.

"Relax, Ms. Clark. Nothing is going to happen to you for a few minutes."

"But.. but… you're going to kill me, aren't you?"

"Yes. When you're ready."

"I don't think I'll ever be ready."

"It says here that your roommate trusted you with his life, and you let him hang until he lost consciousness and for almost three minutes longer. Is that right?"

"I got a little distracted, that was all."

"And nearly killed your roommate."

That set off another bout of sobs. "Well… yes. But watching him hang was so erotic. I just had to… until…"

"You knew it was dangerous. You agreed to be his safety, and you failed."

"I… got distracted."

" Well… just sit there until you stop crying. Then we'll discuss what happens next."

Reggie sat down, got out his phone, and set a five-minute timer, then started reading the about advanced asphyxia methods.

The screen flashed after five minutes. He looked up; Libby was still weeping quietly. Time for a different tack. "How are you feeling?"

"Horrible. I don't want to die."

"You're a senior here at Dolcett U, right?"

"Yes."

"So you've been here, going to classes for over three and a half years?"

"Yes."

"In that time, how many students have you watched die - hanged, strangled, drowned, shot, beheaded, impaled…"

Libby closed her hands into fists, then put out her right index finger, then the middle, then ring finger… At last she stopped. "thirty-seven, I think."

"And how many of those wanted to die?"

She thought another minute. "There were six who volunteered at Professor Damien's midterm demonstration, and six more at the end of term. And Ying Jin was impaled as part of the school play my sophomore year. And a couple more whose names I can't remember, so I guess that makes fifteen."

"That leaves twenty-two who didn't want to die but submitted to the rope, the tub, the guillotine, whatever. Right?"

"Yes. I think that's right."

"And you shouldn't have to because…?"

"Oh." She raised her head and looked at him. After a few seconds, she added, "Can I have a little time to think about that?"

"Sure."

She looked up about two minutes later. "I guess I’m ready now."

He handed her a box of tissues. "Here. Wipe your face and lie down on the bed. Things are going to be good… for a while."

"Yes, si… Reggie." She undid her DU school tie, then her blouse and her bra. Then she looked at him. "Hey, don't you want to look at my tits? The guys I've been with think they're pretty nice."

Reggie looked her up and down. "I think those guys are 100% right. Nice size, and perky. Almost as perky as that smile on your face."

"Why… I… I am smiling. How can I be smiling when I'm about to be killed."

"Not just killed. Executed. With full honors, including an orgasm. You'll have at least one. Guaranteed or your life back."

She looked like she was going to start crying again, then a small smile crept over her face. "Oh, you're joking."

"Only half. I'll bet I can outlast you. And asphyxia is well-known to enhance erotic stimulation. And I have an incentive: if you don’t orgasm, I don't get my executioner's license. I'll have to repeat the entire year of grad school, then try again."

"Yeah, I guess that would be a pretty good incentive."

"Just go lie down on the bed and leave the rest to me."

She hesitated, then lay down on the bed.

"Right. Now close your eyes and pretend I'm your boyfriend."

"Umm hmm."

---------

Now what do you think?

Viewed:	26 times
Added:	4 weeks, 1 day ago 26 Oct 2024 09:48 CEST

6 Comments on this Journal

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Beartp

4 weeks, 1 day ago

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i think you might need another emotional lever the change seems a little abrupt

Mikolai

4 weeks, 1 day ago

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Yeah, I think you need something else. Her mood changing is way too fast.

Maybe there could be something like:
1. Reggie has a backup plan because people told him she would be difficult. I don't know what the world you set up is like, but maybe if she doesn't accept it willingly, she will be forced to see her little sibling (18, of course) die instead or a good friend getting killed. Then she dies.

2. Reggie somehow convinces her that this is the best way for her. He hears her life story and keeps telling her over and over that this is the only way until she believes him.

3. Reggie gives her a drug that calms her down and makes her compliant with what he is doing. Since this is for a degree, I'm sure this wouldn't be the first time the school has encountered this problem.

4. Reggie gets an instructor that helps him out.

I have no idea if these little ideas help at all. The story needs a reason why she would agree after crying how she doesn't want to die.

apdamien

4 weeks, 1 day ago

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Thanks to Bear tp and Mikolai. I had thought that half an hour of crying would exhaust her to the point where she was ready to accept her death, but apparently that doesn't work. I'll write some more.

lolit346

4 weeks ago

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find another "lever" for moving her into readiness

apdamien

4 weeks ago

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@ lolit346

Yes, Beartp made the same comment. I have some good ideas from other commenters and other sites. Next I'm going to remind her of all the furs she enjoyed watching get hanged, strangled, drowned in her classes, and asking why she thinks she shouldn't fall under the same rules?

apdamien

3 weeks ago

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I rewrote the segment pretty heavily. What do you think now?

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