Back in 2017, in an attempt to reinvent myself, I took on a new name and wanted to keep my art centered around a specific setting, a blend of ancient and sci-fi technology. It was still primarily focused on snuff, but with more direct world building and working myself up to making larger set pieces, like battlefield scenes with many characters involved.
I took the name of Samhain, which is an ancient Celt festival marking the start of winter, falling on November 1 which happens to be my birthday so it was fitting. Also, it sounds like a normal name if you split it, Sam Hain, though I altered it by changing the A to an E so when you split it, it sounds like a normal name, Sam Hein.
I was doing alright posting a few pictures and gaining some interest, making new friends, and old friend “finding” me again. It was going well, then out of nowhere I got messaged by someone that was very “hurt by me” and wanted to speak directly. I expected the usual hate, which can be amusing but this time I fucked up badly. To keep it brief, this person’s real name is Sam Hein, and as he was getting into the furry fandom, he ran into me and my art since I beat him to using his name. Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal because, reasons but this was a young person that didn’t know better and was at the stage in his internet life that he would just use his IRL name for online stuff. His exposure to my content fucked him up a bit and I felt responsible for accidentally introducing him to such heavy and fucked up topics. Yes, I went nuclear and deleted everything.
I actually kept in touch with him since I felt so bad and he eventually got over it. Turned out to get into grindcore (ew) and death metal (meh), so he called our little event an “insight into the future” though he isn’t into snuff art. Ironically, he enjoys drawing cute and wholesome stuff and draws worlds better than me, so I closed that book though at least once a year we wish each other a happy birthday and such.
So here’s what pertains to this journal’s title:
A fur from the main telegram group I originally posted under the Samhein alias reached out to me a couple days ago. He fell off furry for a few years as college consumed his life while he worked on his master’s and PhD. Getting back into following and watching snuff related artists, he found me again and saw my last journal. While talking over things, he brought up my art from that time which I told him I nuked because of the incident with “the real” Sam. He then offered to give it to me because he saved everything I posted. That surprised me and spawned a long conversation about the shared art and my plans for that series.
Looking over at it, I can see that I put more effort than usual into it. I really enjoyed working on that concept and well, I got that little spark back in me. But I don’t want to just finish and re-share what I drew. I want to remake them. At the very least, clean up anatomical mistakes and add more detail to them.
In the end, I love drawing, it’s a great way to de-stress and relax. I still doodle a bunch, but it’s minimal effort for my own entertainment. I do enjoy sharing because there’s certainly an audience that enjoys my stuff, even if they want to keep it a secret, they’re still getting enjoyment from what I put out.
So with that being said, I’m gonna touch up, redraw, and add to those images and start posting them here. It’s pretty much the dystopian setting I bring up in submissions here and there, just more fleshed out and a good focus on warfare scenes with a blend of technology and magic to create some fun fatal scenarios.
It’s going to be a bit, but I’ll start trickling in those works. As far as commissions go, I’m pretty much caught up on all my backlog and going to decline future inquiries so I can focus on this surge of inspiration. Hope ya’ll been well and I’ll see you around.
Also, I’m no longer on Telegram, only on Discord for convenience reasons. Feel free to ask to get my name on there so we can chat if you’d like.
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7 months ago
28 Jul 2024 08:18 CEST
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