A few of you might wonder why there hasnt been any sort of Updates for a while now ( except for 2 still Images i guess ).
The truth of the madder is, multiple bad things have happened to me lately who really put me down.
First of all i had my first bad experience with another Artist.
Basically what happened was i asked him to draw something for me with a specific kink in it, he said he would and i was happy.
He sends me a vague sketch and i approve.
The final result however erased the initial context so i told him i was upset about the lack of communication, he simply responded very short and cold with: You approved the Sketch.
We had a small back and fourth, but i forgave him paid full price, thought to myself : " Okay, i guess i should keep my expectation a bit lower in terms of communication" and that was it.
Not even a Year later i see him drawing something similar in context to my idea for someone else.
So i started talking to him about it again and once again asked why he kinda lied to me back then and now he draws my kink for someone else.
He once again didnt show any sort of understanding, we had a back and forth and the end result was, because of my life being absolute garbage in general, that i became way to angry and after he gave me a warning i simply quit and cancelled my subscription for him and he blocked me afterwards.
Did i overreact? Absolutely.
Did he still lie to me though? Also yes.( although that also could have been a simple missunderstanding i guess because of the language barrier )
However i felt really really bad about my decision and how it ended and suffered from guilt and splitting headaches.
Since then i wrote 2 apologies to him but never got an answer.
And right now i completely lack the courage to even talk to another artist again, meaning once again i have nothing and i am afraid that i just cant get along with people because of my mental illness.
Apart from that my life is a joke,i have a job that leads nowhere, people treat me like garbage and i have headaches basically every day.
I am thinking about ending it, and ...depression. Thats the Keyword, Depression.
So my motivation is basically gone.
Okay, so now you got an Idea about my big break.
However, i recently finally started to draw the first frame of my planned Spyro x Mew Animation, so i can assure you, i will continue as an artist.
Progress will probably be slower than usual but i havent given up entirely yet and hopefully at a certain point i will finally be able to update my page again.
I dont want to give up on animations, but it becomes harder and harder to push myself to draw.
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9 months, 2 weeks ago
11 Jun 2024 20:02 CEST
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