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A Little Juh-Juh-Juh-Jeebus for Your Day

A little ditty I composed for our "Christian" buddies out there, to be sung to the tune of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus":

What a foe we have in "Christians,"
Twisted dogma makes me gag;
Instead of "Do Thou Unto Others,"
They're embracing "God Hates Fags."

Just a little luv for our Gawd-fearing REAL 'MURKINS out there.
Viewed: 35 times
Added: 6 years, 5 months ago
6 years, 5 months ago
6 years, 5 months ago
I just sang this out loud, and it actually sounds pretty good. I may even attend church at some point, sing this in place of the other words and see if anybody notices.
6 years, 5 months ago
Careful...you might actually get some of them singing along!
6 years, 5 months ago
Since I'm sure someone will pop up with this (cuz you can't criticize the hate-mongers of religion without the good-despite-being-religious people thinking you're attacking them too); don't forget, there are plenty of people out there who identify as Christians who are still perfectly nice and decent and good people through the act of ignoring or being oblivious to the actual hateful, bigoted, misogynist book that's supposed to be the instructions for what Christians are supposed to do.

Just because someone identifies themselves as Christian doesn't mean they actually know a fraction of what a "Christian" is supposed to do and be according to their Bible, so whenever people speak against "Good Christians " (people who >are< doing more of what their holy book commands them to, and thus are Good at being proper Christians), it's important to be clear that you don't mean to send angry attack vibes at those who are "Good people who happen to be Christians" (people who do the Right thing and have some sense and rationality and reason through ignorance or outright defiance of their religion's actual commands), yet somehow inexplicably still call themselves members of a religion they have to outright defy and disregard on a daily basis if they're anything close to truly good people.

Cuz you'll always have someone pop up saying 'not all Christians are bad' and criticize you for not making that distinction. People who are good people don't like their religion being attacked or being lumped in with the "crazy hateful extremists" who actually best represent what the Sky Friend Manual actually tells people to be.

Ya always gotta point out for them that those of us opposed to religion are usually just attacking the Christians that "moderate" Christians have labeled as "extremists" for actually abiding by more of the Bible's commands. The ones who are just part of a religion while being ignorant of (or knowingly dismissing) the bulk of their religion's commands, well, we're just sadly confused by them. :P
6 years, 5 months ago
I always try to keep my target audience in mind when I write something, and considering this is InkBunny, I assumed a level of intelligence in my audience that would be able to make such distinctions.

It's also why I put the word "Christians" in quotation marks, for many of those who profess to be Christian are anything but. I am addressing the mouth-breathing troglodytes raised and indoctrinated in a world of hate so profound they feel compelled to cherry-pick passages from the self-contradicting Sky Daddy Manual to create a deity that conveniently shares their pig-headed, stupid and uninformed bigotries and prejudices. You don't have to scratch their surfaces too deeply to find a truly evil Fred Phelps squirming in the dark muck beneath. Their "Christianity" has little to nothing to do with Christ and way too much to do with their mean and ignorant base desires and hatreds.

For those who profess to be "true" Christ-like Christians, well...they need to find their ballsacs and let themselves be known, because the Phelpses, Robertsons and Fischers of the world are driving and controlling the "Christian" discourse in this country. I know it's an uphill battle, because the irresponsible modern media loves a freak show, and the psycho extremists know how to manipulate the theme of modern American Christianity. But for the time being, they are winning, and their horrifying and hateful version of religion is viewed by many as what "Christian" means in this country today. And their mean and stupid poison will continue to win out until "true" Christians stop being wallflowers and assert themselves--and not allow themselves to be defined by the American Taliban.

6 years, 5 months ago
Ah, okay. My mistake, difference of perspective here.

I consider the term "a true Christian" to be more validly applied to a person who follows the tenants of the bible more faithfully (that Jesus "threw out" the bulk the super-hate of the Old Testament is a common excuse and misconception - he didn't do any such thing). That would generally be the hate-mongers, since there's very little in the way of love and fellowship in the bible except for "people who are one of us." The Phelpses and the like do cherry-pick of course, and focus on what they want to while disregarding the rest, but people who are truly Good People have to do a great deal more cherry-picking and selective blindness to the bible in order to not be horribly Evil.

Basically, for any person in today's day and age to truly do everything the Bible commands people to do, they'd be murdering others on a daily basis. So there is no Perfect Christian, no person who follows it all to the letter (even disregarding the self-contradicting stuff). But amongst Christians, between the psycho extremists and the Actually Good People, the psycho extremists are doing a great deal >less< cherrypicking because the Bible does do more to support hatred and bigotry than it really does to support True love and fellowship and using one's own "god-given" sense and reason to determine right from wrong.
6 years, 5 months ago
By Odin's Beard... I have never heard of the original song, but this is catchy!
6 years, 5 months ago
I've been reading a bit about the history of Christianity in America. It's not what the fundies would have you believe. I think it safe to say that the founding fathers, whom they love to lay claim to, would be utterly repulsed by their know-nothing anti-intellectualism and disdain for science and reason.
Just going to leave these here.

I will not attack your doctrines nor your creeds if they
accord liberty to me.

If they hold thought to be dangerous
If they aver that doubt is a crime,
Then I attack them one and all
Because they enslave the minds of men
- Robert Green Ingersoll

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that his wife
is beautiful and his children smart.
-H.L. Mencken
6 years, 5 months ago
Hah! That's pretty funny.
6 years, 5 months ago
I love you even more now for this, and I'm even a christian...  not a "christian".
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