(-3-) I want to say something just because I want to I guess.
For the anxious and unsure - I’m there with you, though I’ve been thinking so much about it lately Specifically for 3 years now. Some of you have been dealing with something; that something that threw you off your balance, your pace, your own way of doing things.. I’m there with you
I’ve lost three years of figuring about how to gain my focus, confidence, that just do it attitude, and love what you do every single day mindset. I remember not allowing anything bother me even though it did and continuing on. I remember doing that; feeling that. I don’t wanna feel like this anymore. So I’ve relied on studying psychology, business, and music production. The things I’ve decided will give me strength to return to being - Not Anxious, not unsure; being me — The me who I love to be~
Studying the things I know now - Well, it makes some things easier; that’s for sure.
Yet, it’s not what making me, me. Driven; to pursue individual goals — My goals of who I want to be.
From what I have learned….Hmmmm (Really thinking ATM) Well, it’s what you factor in on your own/ it’s what you decide to be a part of you/ Allow what matters to you; Even when it hurts you to the core.
For me it felt like Betrayal; Which was allowing the people who I trusted to lift me up in low spirits. That then cause me to be unsure of my own decisions, and socially anxious. I’ve had a couple of these moments, which build up internally.
While I was working one night at work; while holding all the past traumas from the past. I had a C-PTSD Episode. In return of that, somehow affected my ego mentality. The saying “Hit by a train” means “Suddenly, Rushed, Pressed.” Another word for Pressed, could be Cornered.
So that’s the feeling, Cornered. “How do I get passed by all of this, along with the previous traumas?” I asked myself.
You only feel Pressure/ Cornered with things, topics, & activities you don’t know.
So with that “How do I get out of that - How do I recover?! — AND Not just that, how do I continue/ resume?!” I ask myself another question which seemed difficult to answer for myself.
I have to see things in a way that makes sense - How else will I be sure of the best decision is best for me and my goals.
The best answer I know of is - Position, Role, Standpoint - Where I’m at means I play a different role, a different role means I have to see things differently. Knowing this I’m aware I have to make different decisions.
I use the word different because of where I position myself, my role, my decision.
So there is some comfort into that stance.
So with that said - Be yourself the best you can, because; Your role can change suddenly. Then you make decisions that are based on that role, it’s where you see yourself - 5W’s & an H to be exact; It’s WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY, & HOW - You Stand for Yourself.
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5 months, 2 weeks ago
05 Jun 2024 05:03 CEST
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