Hello hello,
So, it's been a while huh? I believe I haven't really been showing signs of life for over 3 months now. Hell I didn't even do my yearly retrospect. So what happened? Where was I and why have I gone silent.
To be honest, this update has taken much longer to make than I hoped it would. I simply couldn't find the right words to write out. But I feel like now I've disappeared for too long without an explanation, I owe one for those that got worried about my well being.
To clear things up, I am physically well, nothing bad happened to me. If anything it's mental stuff I've been dealing with. Not that I've been a danger to myself either. It's more that I am at a loss currently. By mid December I felt a sudden switch in my mood. I no longer felt the energy or care in this hobby. It was like an art block, with the exception that this time, it's the whole idea of continuing to draw such content.
It got worse in January, where I couldn't even open my program to draw, without feeling this intense sensation of "I shouldn't" and this haunted me for a while. I didn't know if this was a normal feeling nsfw artist goes through, but my biggest fear has since been "what if I never recover from this?"
I don't know if I'm conveying that feeling correctly, but you could bet this is the main reason I did not post anything for so long. I was and frankly still not sure what it'll mean for the future of this hobby. 3 months later and I still don't feel like I'm getting any closer to getting back to this.
From my current perspective, it feels too early to just say "I have lost all motivations in keeping this account going", but then there's the fact my life has pushed me to slowly sacrifice time I had for other hobbies for more pressing matters, and this is what it comes down to: uncertainty.
Currently, do not expect new images or stories here, not until I get my life in order. I can only hope I will be able to make a thunderous return soon enough. And in the offchance my drive for it is confirmed permanent. I'll be sure to inform everyone; inform my departure rather than vanishing without warning...
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9 months, 1 week ago
16 Mar 2024 02:29 CET
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