I have been street homeless in Pennsylvania since Monday. Yesterday the weather was a cold blue. I have my cat because i will have stress seizures and immense ptsd flashbscks without him. It id a testament to my love for him that i have made it this far. I called all 5 shelters in the area and not one contacted me except for one thar i just walked in and showed uo at and had to beg for.
Below is another gathering of my thoughts and a last testament, but leaving ppl who are supposed to help me speechless is not a good sign in my book.
Copied text from my aethy:
By the way the shelter last night that told me I had to reach out to someone first? That someone is one of many people I have been trying to contact frantically the past 2 days. I barely slept, my toes were so cold to the point of barely being felt and this morning I was told their supervisor told the person im not allowed with my cat in again.
Not one person has even glanced at the documentation i have for him. I feel like a monster making Savvy suffer as well just because I am. Im afraid I've done irreversible damage to both of us somehow. I called crisis sobbing this morning and the person in crisis was literally at a loss for words because they acknowledged I've done all the legwork I have at this point. I keep getting dangerously dissociative and lethargic to the point of losing strength in my limbs of what im holding and standing.
My life has no value to America, despite it meaning a lot to all of you and vice versa. I'm thinking about surrendering Savvy to the ASPCA and then letting psychosis completely take me wandering into a snowdrift for warmth. Better than accidentally spacing out in the middle of the street and traumatizing a driver.
Ive exhausted my options, im left waiting for people to make an exception to care about or advocate for me who are actually in positions of power to change things, but Im not deemed worthy enough for such mercy.
While I am upset, I don't honestly blame my previous roommates. Its self preservation above all. I wish it turned out like the movies too, but itd only been 3 days on the street and Ive got a fibro flareup claiming my body and mind.
I literally have no clue what to do except that fantastical idea of giving up the many shelters that have turned me down to "mob justice" but i think thats more a fantasy thats overselling my impact.
I hope this is premature, but I want to thank everyone for trying their best to help me in this difficult time, financially or emotionally. I will hang on for as long as I can still, but in case things dont work out, please keep creating the things that you love and work to inspire others for my sake.
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1 year, 2 months ago
17 Jan 2024 12:20 CET
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