I mean, I should know better, but thought crosses my mind sometimes. Especially around this time of year as we get closer to February and Valentine's Day. I've been single for over a decade with my last relationship being so horrible that pretty much left me broken. And I'm not gonna like, I get jealous seeing everyone who not only entered a relationship around the time I did, (or around the time I was stabbed in the back by those bastards), and are still together today. Hell, I'm insanely jealous of those who are younger than me and are engaged or married already! I just want to tell everyone to stop it, stop cutting in front of me because I've been standing in line a lot longer than you and you're stealing my turn!
I've been thinking of this for a long time, even to those who are among my closest friends. It's not something you can't stop thinking about easily. And I feel even more worried about the more time that passes because I can't take care of myself, I need help for that. I still live with my mom, and I'm only a burden on her. If anything, I should be taking care of her at this point, but I can't do that, I can't work.
I really need help, but the wounds I received 10 years ago have never healed.
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3 months, 3 weeks ago
17 Jan 2024 10:57 CET
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