I haven't said much and I haven't done much as of late. There are reasons for that.
Internet related:
-FA: With the new policies in place, I can't risk anything I post being deemed "under aged" just because it doesn't happen to be tall enough. This is horribly irritating for someone who loves smaller males on larger females and thus, I won't be uploading to FA anymore because of it, though I'll still use it.
-IB: I've made a firm point that I will not upload so much as a single image to IB until they ban and remove all "AI" images. As it stands, IB is being flooded with metric truckloads of it and it's drowning out actual content made by hard working artists. There also is no guarantee that anything I upload WON'T be scraped for their machines, which is a theft I will not accept.
As it stands, Itaku, e621, and rule34xxx are the only places I upload content.
IRL related:
So I've been quiet on this but now I must speak it in full.
I am the oldest of 3 siblings, all brothers. Middle brother got married in 2018 and things began to go bad ever since. Said wife lives with her grandfather. She does not have a place of her own. My brother never officially moved in, he just "stopped coming home" one day. What was hidden from us is that his wife has very bad Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She is missing about 25% of her brain, her body is riddled with health issues, and she will have manic screaming events where she lashes out at anyone and everyone, but usually targets someone. People with FAS ALWAYS project their issues onto someone they don't like.
My family has the misfortune of having my mother's sister with full blown FAS, and she gave that to her son, along with having a full outbreak of genital herpes, meaning he was born not just with 25% of his brain missing ,but he's insane on top of it. The problem in all this is my brother is autistic and can "act" like a functioning adult, but he isn't one. He only sees things on a surface level and is the poster child for the phrase "if it was a snake ,it would have bit you".
After many hellish years dealing with insane aunt and cousin, we warned Brother and his wife to NOT interact with cousin and aunt because the yare violent, abusive manipulators.
Brother did exactly the opposite and socialized with his cousin. Said cousin wanted my brother for himself to be his personal "husband" who would pay for him to sit around, eat, and play video games and him getting a wife angered him greatly, so he devised to torture brother's wife. He did this by making fake facebook profiles of my mother's profile and harassing said wife relentlessly.
See, my mother knows all my aunt and cousin's tricks, so it was important to twist things so my brother would NEVER see her face to face. This has worked because 2020 happened and said cousin and aunt got to "face time" over facebook without any interruptions. My cousin soaked my brother's brain for a solid year. This was perfectly in their plan because brother and wife had a daughter and my aunt is a violent child abuser who is obsessed with children under 5 and she will do anything she can to be interacting with them as she hallucinates that they are her own, so further demonizing my mother on baseless claims is her go-to. As a result, we never saw my brother or his daughter for all of 2021, 2022, and 2023. But the insane aunt has had free access to her all this time.
The following three years have been nothing but me supporting my mother emotionally. Every morning she wakes in tears because said brother is such an idiot he believes hearsay from his cousin instead of actual facts. I know this as I saw him as of April 2023 and he is making up excuses on the spot as to why he shouldn't see his mother and see the truth.
Said cousin has blown out his kidneys intentionally with diabetes so he could be unemployed, but now he's in the hospital as this is the 5th year of dialysis. He dies this year and no one will mourn him. Said aunt is rotting away in a similar manner, though she's degenerating in different areas, namely her sight and claiming everyone in the world is a chronic liar EXCEPT her.
And finally, we found out that the grandfather of the Wife is ALSO full of FAS and he's a total coward who tried to call the cops on my father for trying to talk to my brother. This failed hard for the old man since he has zero right to prevent a father from seeing his child and the cops now have it logged that the old man made a bogus emergency call.
But even with that said, this is reaching a breaking point for me and I cannot handle it.
My father has issues he won't address and he frequently causes many issues around the house and for our family on a GOOD day, so he is NOT helpful in the emotional damage my mother is suffering. She lost her son and her granddaughter to her disgusting, insane sister who ALWAYS stole things from her all her life, and she mourns it every single day, and it won't end until those THINGS stop breathing.
And now we know the old man is an accomplice keeping my brother hidden from his own family.
No joy is in my life in any manner, just fleeting moments. My brain is filled with chaotic events of what I should do, what I could do, and never anything useful. I wake and all I know is that I will try and fail to console my mother. That my father will be useless, and hinderance, and sabotage everything because of his issues he refuses to address.
This is robbing me of years of my life I needed to prep for the real world, where I would get some "final teachings" from my parents to go and make it on my own.
No, I don't get that.
Dark thoughts swirl in my brain all day long, though I've managed to keep them at bay. Something in this insane stalemate has to break...
I hope it's not my mind...
