I have decided to quit the porn scene. As you can tell, I have hid away my gallery except for two entries. I'll talk about them in a moment. For my closing words, I would like to talk about why I did all this. I suppose it's an explanation left for future visitors.
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First and foremost, it was very easy to earn money for very little effort. This stalled my planned exit for at least a year. It helped sustain me during a certain unstable and fresh time in my life, but not without feeling morally conflicted inside. Truthfully, I really don't like to have attention pointed to this stuff, I feel like I deserve better. But I stashed those thoughts away and kept drawing stuff for money. I treated it as a job, after all.
Second, well, I did this because I admittedly have personal issues and a troubled past. The themes I draw and stories I write are about unconditional loving fantasy with a flavor of depressing reality. Can you imagine why I'm coming up these things, then? To me, it wasn't always just simple masturbation material (as porn usually is, and apparently how most of you see it judging by the polls) but instead I strived to depict taboo stuff that actually had emotion and intention to it. And people seemed to appreciate and enjoy it. For the people who reached out and told me how interested they felt about it, I'm glad you liked it and shared that with me - it surely helped me to cope with reality for a while.
I want to talk about the two stories.
"A touching game" might not be a literary masterpiece, but it is completely genuine. In fact, Lea is mostly based on myself. I wasn't touched inappropriately or anything. But I was indeed asked to be someone's partner at that age, in the aftermath of a tragic event in my family, and I rejected her out of fear and worry even with the flaring hormones. It's probably for the better, who knows how fucked up I would be if I said yes. But as you can see, that's the fantasy of a hypothetical scenario where situations and desires are depicted in a better way. That's the point of writing it as a fantasy, to imagine about an alternative and better history while slowly coming to terms with what actually happened.
"In defense of Lolicons" is made controversial by purpose. I hate emotional, short-sighted, destructive behavior of people who see the world as black and white dogma. The world, humans, and situations are never a simple process, and by boiling it down to a simple argumentative yes and no, it messes it up for everyone.
Anyways, that's it. Thank you for your enthusiasm over the years, and I hope you find a suitable replacement artist to continue your niches. I will write the disclaimer I wrote a long time ago underneath here.
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Contenious content: I'd like to clarify my stance here.
All works I make are complete fiction. Some characters I draw may be depicted as underage and/or participating in situations depicted as abusive. I produce this content for the sole purpose of fantasy and is not made to encourage or approve real actions.
If you cannot separate fact from fiction, in either extreme, then you are not welcome here; whether you think I draw actual CSAM and want to behead me for my virtual crimes, or if you are an actual pedophile and inspired to to abuse children. I do not approve of either extreme and wish you to get mental health in timely manner.
Consuming this fictional content can be a way for abuse survivors, adults with troubled childhood, and mentally troubled people to find enjoyment, control, or reparation over their past. Or even just normal people, with normal jobs, feeling stressed and wanting a break. It doesn't matter, you are allowed to enjoy this material as long as you understand it is fiction.
