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Now a smaller size.

Dude! I haven't been a size 34 since I was 15!

This weekend, i went with my mom to see the Pixar movie "Brave." It was a pretty fun waste of time. As much as I love Pixar's CG and I love love love Scottish myth, this movie blew a tire as it progressed. WARNING, THERE MAY BE SPOILERS!!!

The mother's transformation was a lot of fun. The term Berserk comes from the term "bear shirt" Once you understand that, you get the bear theme in this movie. I liked the fact that she kept trying to get her bare bear butt clothed through out the movie.

Speaking of butts! You will see plenty of rosy Scotts cheeks in this film. They wear nothing under those kilts. It is a proven fact.

Plenty of boob jokes too. That poor house maid. XD

Now where did it fall flat? Let's start off with the witch. A goofy witch is always funny, but she didn't leave an impression. She was just a generic plot device. Scotland has a huge mythology. The Tuatha Dé Danann, the Aos-sídhe, Sìdhichean (Good/Bad fairies), Changelings, Gypsies and even good natured Werewolves called "wulvers." So why the hell an everyday witch?!

Mor'du was a sweet looking monster ex machina. There are several notes to the viking raids of Scotland in this film. Remember what I said about the "bear shirt" Its viking! So you can tell why the spell gets screwed up when the Scotts have a go at it in the film. Other than that, he is really pointless. It could be any savage bear and would have still had the same effect.

How would I have written it: Merida, riding through the glens, firing off her arrows in anger, strikes a fairy mound. An angry fairy hears her gripe about her mom and decides to "teach her a lesson" Fairy are clever, cruel, and COME IN ALL SIZES. No Tinkerbell sized feather wings here folks. She has to rally her suitors (who bumble their way around trying to woo her and help rescue her mom from their parents. Add tacked on moral here, and we're good.

Where did it go right?

The imagery is BEAUTIFUL! If I could imagine 10th Century Scotland, that would be it on the nose.... with a few more wanton wenches, but thats just me. You can tell the animators had a great time creating the scenery, because the camera panned all the time.

Merida and her family acted like a family. I won't compare her to another disney red head (*cough* Mermaid *cough*), because aside from waning a little freedom from her parents, and a witch, that was all you can compare her to. Merida didn't want the typical Disney "More". She wanted her mom to ease up on the royal pressure. Her father doted, but he wasn't over bearing (Triton) or childish (Sultan) He took everything in stride. Funloving and very much "I'd rather share a pint if I could." The mom is very traditional, but is still a mom. And the scenes you see with her and Merida interacting reminded me a lot of how my mom and sisters interact. The nurturing goes unnoticed until you feel you may lose it. Her brothers are a pain, but they love her and want to help.

The music is fantastic. If I closed my eyes with just the soundtrack playing, I'd probably see what was on the screen. Made me wish I understood Gaelic, just to get the full effect.

After that mom tells me that she is sick of my baggy pants. Backstory! I lost a lot of weight. So much so that I am walking around in really baggy clothes. My whole wardrobe needs to be replaced. Well I know I went from 38 to 36, but I am now a size 34. HOLY FREAKING HAIRBALLS! Never under estimate exercise. It will kick your ass if you don't respect it.
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Added: 6 years, 7 months ago
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