I really wish I had a talent I could use to make money. Maybe then when things are going wrong I would have something to fall back on. With various medical issues it really makes it hard for me to even work. The diabetes is no where near being under control. It has gotten worse in the last couple of months. So my concentration has been pretty freaking bad for things and so has my whole focusing ability. Toss in the constant abscessed cysts that pop up on painful spots on my body (spots that make it hard to even sit). The ringing in my ears that is almost continuous, with bouts where it gets weird from just moving a little bit. Not to mention other various ailments that they're still testing to find out what is going on. Then there's the shoulder pain and numbness going down my left arm caused by a bulging disk in my neck. They don't consider it bad enough, so it would be considered an elective surgery to fix. Also got to point out it looks like the battery in my car needs to be replaced. So I've missed a lot of work. I work at a call center for the IRS where I deal with calls from taxpayers dealing with employment taxes and other business ones. Things that require focus and concentration to deal with, which I've been lacking most days. I've fallen behind in car payments, rent, insurance, credit card bills and all the medical bills (including the one from last December where I fell down the basement steps and broke 3 ribs). I have no one to go to to borrow the money that is needed and my credit is so bad I could only apply for a loan from American Web Loans. Where if I just borrow $1400 I will end up paying of $4500 to pay it off in 5 months. Which really just makes it all very much worse. I can't file for bankruptcy because it is to soon since I filed previously. Honestly not sure what to do now. I feel like just giving up and letting it all just stop. I hate asking for help. I'm used to being the one to help people. But unfortunately I haven't been able to do that for a while. Hell I currently have $46 in my account. The world just feels like it is telling me I should toss in the towel. The only luck I've had in my life is Bad Luck, I'm really not sure what Good Luck looks like.
