You might have noticed drastic changes to my publicly visible profile....it's because for the past nearly 6 months now, since I been trying to be active on Twitch and spread out into the wider community and maybe become a streamer...things have gone to hell. What started as a few people intolerant or twisted the truth now almost seems to be an active campaign...and last Friday, 8/20/2021, I was tricked into thinking somebody wanted to actually help me...so i told them about my problems. And about how I like small, cute characters in general, and feel awkward in larger VRChat avatars, (and larger characters/races in other games for that matter, but there is often no choice to be smaller), and then they twisted it, asking the loaded "DO you Like Kids?" Simple, but a question that no matter how I answer, they can twist. Say no, well clearly I am lying, right? Say yes, and they have a confession...I realized then I shouldn't have talked to them. And panicked...
Now lots of people have let me be in their servers and have been my friend for months have banned me without a word from their servers, blocked me on discord and twitch, and only today did I get confirmation that the "evidence" was from what I had "told" a "mod of another server". Not that I have been presented with the evidence. And with my Autism Spectrum Disorder, it is incredibly hard to defend myself from accusations when calm...let alone when already distressed from depression that keeps getting worse and worse as I feel as if my life is entirely over. Because now I have likely lost ANY hope over ever being a streamer and entertaining people...and I already have lost my federal financial aid for college. SO any type of "Professional" life is seemingly dead. And everyday my personal life dies more and more...and I am utterly terrified that if words gets to my parents, they won't care about hearing what I have to say either, and will just kill me. As it is, I doubt many will read this and interpret my words the way I intend them.
As I cannot respond here as the Inkbunny Support Team has not responded to my last ticket regarding my mute here, comments are locked. I just hope this doesn't cause even more people to hate me...I don't know if I can handle much more. I certainly am not up for clearing out more of my watched list of those who I don't actually enjoy 99% of their content, or who don't post art, etc. I probably should have done this months ago...guess I thought that since the majority of furs don't have a form of high functioning Autism, ADHD, chronic depression, AND severe memory issues as well as social anxiety, you'd think they'd decide not to bully somebody who can't even defend themselves without taking five minutes to craft a response at the best of times. Ugh, getting snarky and pissy, sorry. Well, at least the drama involving me isn't started directly by me being a massive, insensitive prick by saying shit bluntly like an idiot, right?
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3 years, 3 months ago
27 Aug 2021 03:56 CEST
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