About YCH and general commissions

Short version:

It is highly likely that the on going YCH will be the last one until further notice.

All current commissions will be finished.

Long version:

As much as I would like to be a full time artist, the client base isn't sufficient. I cannot keep up with medical finances. Im still sick. What I have isn't contagious. But as things stand I will have to find a different source of income with a day job. Which most likely means a job where I have to leave my house and risk infection to myself and people around me. Im not saying any of this to make people feel bad, I'm just sad about it and dissapointed in myself. And frustrated at the pandemic situation.

I had so many projects set to get off the ground when I put myself in a situation to commit myself to said projects. But because of mental disorder relapses and this Cool New Sickness many of them have not happened and I cannot say when or if they ever will. I no longer have the savings to "pad out" the time I have to build up a better portfolio, to cultivate a sustainable customer base or to figure out a sweet spot between my personal interests and the interests of a demographic that could help support me.

I moved to a completely different state where I don't know anyone and have no chance to make friends with how things are in the US. So I've spent nearly every moment by myself where the only interactions I have with other people is through commission work. It's been mentally taxing to say the least.

If Im being quit honest I don't think this was ever a career that I was meant for, I don't have the demand required to be able to support myself this way. Of the 7 months I have been doing this only about 2 of those months was I able to break even on bills. I know being an artist is 1/3 the art and 2/3 self advertisement. And I guess I just don't have the aptitude or the stamina for it.

I have always had doubts about myself as an artist but this is sort of just solidifying it. And perhaps I need to find something more productive to do with my time so I can stop feeling like Im at the bottom all the time.

Viewed:	29 times
Added:	4 years, 1 month ago 11 Feb 2021 02:45 CET

8 Comments on this Journal

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Lex

4 years, 1 month ago

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Edited 4 years, 1 month ago by Owner

I think it's extremely difficult to turn a hobby into a lucrative career, and harder still to make it stay a fun hobby and not a soul-sucking job. The people who make it are astronomically lucky.

(also if you're in Florida, hit me up XD)

tripleCancer

4 years, 1 month ago

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@ Lex

Yeah, it is what it is I suppose, no time to sulk about it. I probably would feel better about it if the situation would stop shitting itself tho lmao.

And LOL ill be sure to do that if I ever happen to be that far east.

MidnightMuser

4 years, 1 month ago

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Making it as an artist is a real gamble for sure. It requires a lot of mental capacity and often a support network. I'm slowly building it but it's hard. I hope you're able to find a day job that's at least low on the bullshit so you still have the energy and aptitude to take on comms for side money. (Said as a retail worker who has been mentally tired the past year cuz of revolving doors of issues befalling coworkers )

Sending many good vibes your way, my dude

tripleCancer

4 years, 1 month ago

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@ MidnightMuser

Im hoping so for some less bullshitty jobs too haha. If nothing else, the area I moved to is a large city so jobs are (usually) easier to come by then where I was before. So hopefully my options will look a little better.

And Thanks dude I appreciate it.

bbbuuu

4 years, 1 month ago

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I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this sorta thing; have you considered maybe some sort of online work? They can be a bit harder to find, but I know some places pay for transcribing audio and stuff. Still, if you need to find a day job, I do wish you luck, and I hope that it's not so time consuming that you can't at least still indulge in your art; I don't think it's that you're not cut out for it, you've got a style that's unique! But it is a massive challenge to try to make enough in commissions to make a career out of it, unless you're either charging massively, or taking a billion commishes at once lol.

Either way, I hope that things improve for you!

tripleCancer

4 years, 1 month ago

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@ bbbuuu

Yeah I did, I managed to find a very small amount of temp online work months ago but I have no had much luck in finding new ones.

Thank you for the well wishes.