A week ago at RCFM, I learned Brimstone, a local dragon, had died the morning I had arrived. I did not know him well, but I did have a few brief conversations with him over a few RCFMs past.
Everyone I knew in Huntsville was taking his death very hard, but considering all of them are older than me, this was a surprise. I am not heartless, but what KO said at opening ceremonies was something I have known long before this, "cherish your friends, and know that at any moment they can be taken away from you."
I forget how many years ago, I realized that every time a person leaves my sight it may be the last time I see them in this life, as seemingly unnecessarily dramatic as this may seem, it keeps me loving my friends and family even when they are pushing it.
Four years ago, Spectra Vixen aka Maki, a very dear friend, was in a horrible car accident, lost hir arm, and was teetering between life and death. Shi did survive, but at the time, I think I learned about it just a few hours after shi was admitted to the hospital, and I realized that I was not fully prepared for hir to leave me. I was put into an emotionally difficult situation of knowing that wishing hir survival would mean wishing for hir continued suffering. Beyond the selfish notions of hope and fear, I sat there and asked myself, honestly, "Did I love hir well?"
I did shed a few tears for Brim. Not because I was sad that he was gone, but because when I saw how many people were crying for his loss, I realized he probably lived in the same deep appreciation of his friends as they had just discovered for him.
The most common thing said about Brim over RCFM was, "I wish I could have done more for him", and for anyone who feels that way, for anyone who can relate, for anyone who fears saying those words: let come to mind everyone whom you love and respect and realize... it is only in this moment that you have that chance.
6 years, 5 months ago
05 Jun 2012 10:55 CEST