I'm not gonna lie. The last 12 months have been rough.
Anyone who knows me also knows my headspace is kind of a mess. Relentless bullying while I was in high school and college had left me with negative self-esteem and oyster-level social skills. Paired with very *high* familial expectations, this made for a very bad combo, and turned me into a world-hating, bitter person. Something I then vented into art, be it doodles in the margins of my school notebooks to full fledged comics.
The problem with that, of course, is that while it made me productive, I was still feeling terrible.
I've been seeing a therapist for years now, and I've been doing steady progress. The very fact I'm able to recognize how I've been feeling and why is proof of it. I've been able to let go of the past, let go of anger and bitterness, and overall becoming much more *stable*. Only problem of course is that it dried up my art drive fuel source, and so I've been able to do less and less art... until I pretty much stopped last year.
For that last year, I've been in a transition period. I've been working on my social skills ; I found a local group of furry friends and we've been having a great time chatting and partying (even if the quarantine paused that for a while). We're planning a week-long camping holiday in September. I'm also looking for a big apartment to share with a couple of them, so I can get out of my smallass overpriced apartment. I'm switching my art drive fuel source to something more positive. I'm starting to have art itch again.
If everything goes according to plan, I will be in my new home, ready to art again, before the end of 2020. Fingers crossed.
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3 years, 9 months ago
13 Jul 2020 14:31 CEST
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