To those out there who either are transgender, or otherwise know someone who is and might've had this conversation yourselves, what are your earliest recollections of realizing your transgenderism? What were the circumstances surrounding the realization at the time?
When I've asked this question in the past, I've gotten a myriad of answers that differ from person to person with no clear cut consensus one way or the other. But I keep trying to wrap my head around it.
I ask because I wonder how your experiences compare to my own while growing up, and if there are any similarities to be had.
Growing up, I really didn't subscribe to any particular notion regarding gender roles, be they masculine or feminine, because I didn't understand such notions and concepts. Growing up, my interests in activities, toys, clothing, and other such was guided largely by colors, patterns, and comfort.
There were clothes that I hated wearing, not because of their style, but because of the dyes that were used and how my skin reacted to them. I could wear blue jeans comfortably all day long, but black jeans were uncomfortable because I couldn't stand the black dyes that were used, no matter how many times they were washed. And the idea of wearing dressed never occurred to me, because I hated my legs being uncovered because of how many mosquito bites I used to get. Anything excessively open just struck me as asking for trouble. I didn't even like going without a shirt inside the house, because my skin was sensitive to the sensation of air moving over it. Going without a shirt was actually more uncomfortable than wearing a shirt, if that makes any sense.
Makeup. I never considered makeup because what you put on, you have to take back off, and cleanup is a pain. The cleanup always struck me as being more of a pain and hassle than it was worth, especially if you couldn't wash it off with water.
Toys, that's where things get both interesting and complicated. My preferences weren't based on anything but color, and sometimes styles. If I wanted a firetruck to play with, it wasn't because it conveyed the sense of masculinity often associated with firefighters, I just really liked the shade of red that was used in its construction, and how well it went with the white highlights. Same way with construction equipment, it was a shade of yellow that I liked. Most toys often associated with girls back then came in ugly, sickly pastel colors I wanted nothing to do with. All except for the color purple. When it came to the color purple there was nothing to be found with toys for boys, but the purple that came on girl's toys was a rich, vibrant shade. But you couldn't get that purple without putting up with the pastel pinks and blues and white that was attached, which overall was just very unattractive to me. Boy's toys kinda won by default on that one. If Barbie's limo had come in a slick, gloss black instead of that annoying shade of pink, or even hot pink, it might've been a different story. Way too much ugly shade of pink on that line...
It's kinda like watching the original MMPR season 1. When it's the original Zyuranger footage, the coloring of the Green Ranger's costume is much better looking than the coloring of the American footage. The American footage had a weak, almost sickly looking green and yellow color scheme, whereas the Japanese footage was like emerald and gold in comparison.
Activities for play. What I enjoyed most was swinging, followed second by bike riding. I tried basketball, but it was pretty painful on the hands and that was a big buzzkill I didn't enjoy one bit.
That's more or less the situation I was in growing up. How it compares and contrasts with yours, I don't know.
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4 years, 7 months ago
08 Jul 2020 00:14 CEST
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