So I'm just sitting here... At home or a school or wherever... Going through my gallery, scraps, and my favorites... I am filled with so much guilt you wouldn't even believe it. I still think others lives are better if they forget about me... For the past year... I've been trying to get back the friendship of a couple people whom I still consider them a friend up to this day... I've been trying so hard but it all just seems meaningless now... They...really dont want anything to do with me... I'm sure there's a couple of you who know who I'm talking about... Just don't post anything like that here. Just keep it to yourself.
Once again I've been stumbling in this dark depths alone...trying to find some light of salvation. I feel like I've lost connections with everyone... I've got in trouble because of how I feel and also my big mouth got me in trouble as well. I'm confused... If I keep things to myself, my anger is released and such... But if I do say what's on my mind, I get in trouble or nobody gives a fuck. I don't know what to do... I'm sure this does not matter for I am non-existant in the furnation... And I'm sure there are others going through some fucked up life that's worse than mine... So why am I even writing this journal? I'm gonna stop before I cause even more trouble... You may call this guilt tripping. I call this...realization. (If that's a word.) Reflecting back on what I've done and what I should've done.
6 years, 7 months ago
08 May 2012 20:27 CEST