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cannot dream anymore

so as far back as i can remember i've been alone, i grew up without family or friends.
 now i have one person i can hang out with at least.
 but i'm turning 30 this year, and i feel too old to be looking for a date anymore, and yes i'm a daddy's boy.
 now i have been with 2 flings but still i think i was just a 'rag' to be used and tossed aside.

 all i've ever wanted was to feel love at least once in my life, but that's hard when you're invisible.
 i guess i ought to give up on that fantastical idea.

 life is hard when you're alone and unloved, but i'm going to have to deal with it i guess, though i won't be happy but that's the way the world works. some people are allowed to be held and the rest of us just tend to be brushed under carpets to be forgotten and ignored.

 this journal is not meant as an attack on anyone, i just hope that it helps people understand where i'm at.
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Added: 6 years, 9 months ago
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